A POEM !

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"in my middle school health class, they told me the human heart is roughly the same size as a fist.
I don't remember what the teacher said next, because I was too busy curling my fingers into my palm.
surely, whatever I was feeling
had to have been made by something larger than my frail hands;
something more powerful than my thirteen year old fist.

I closed my eyes
and punched the desk as hard as I could.
the skin on my knuckles tore open,
blood surfacing, shooting,
pain up my arm,
and I walked with teary eyes
to the principals office.
when he asked why I did it,
I could only say that I was testing my heart.

these days, I still ball my hand into a fist and just stare at it for a bit.
I do this everyday,
and sometimes I'll punch something,
like my desk, or a wall,
or the drawer that holds all the letters he wrote me.

my first has gotten a little larger since then,
but it still breaks and bleeds just the same."

- ao-ao

not edited

leaving this here for later 😚

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