Black Marion

Author's End Note

So a few readers have noted that the events toward ending can be controversial--Vaughn probably shouldn't have been forgiven, Alex made the wrong decision in trusting him, so on. I want to address this point because Vaughn's transgressions are serious--rape is a prevalent matter that's all too real for many people. This may not be immediately apparent in the text of the story, so I want to give a little bit of elaboration on my thought process for why the story ends the way it does.

First and foremost: It's not about Vaughn. It's not about the perpetrator. It's about Alex, her strength, and her healing. Out in the real world, you often don't tell people you're a victim of rape because you're afraid you'll be seen as broken or crippled. Then in fiction, rape is commonly used as a tool to destroy a woman (or a man), something they carry with them for the rest of their lives like an oppressive mountain on their backs. I think it's important that we treat rape with this gravity, especially since modern society still has a culture of taking it lightly. But I think it's equally important that we give power back to the victims.

Alex chooses to forgive Vaughn. He may not deserve it--his punishment is that, as his love becomes pure again, he must forever live with the weight of what he has done--but it is within her power to do so. His past actions won't haunt her future; neither do they or will they distort the pure heart that she has. And I think that is the best empowerment and healing I can give her.

I also want to note that, as you may have noticed, Alex doesn't quite register what Vaughn does to be rape until much later. She doesn't register it to be rape because of her complicated relationship with him; later, she doesn't process it as rape in part as a defense mechanism. But as readers, and as Haneul later notes, without her full and willing consent, what happened was indeed rape. 

Another reader mentioned a separate, very important point about victim blaming--I had an author's note somewhere about that, but if you're reading this after 9/15/2020, hopefully Haneul's conversation with Alex in chapter 34 clears things up. Alex was definitely victim-blaming in the earlier chapters; I won't get into the details behind why I believed that reaction to be most consistent with her character, but I hope your initial reaction was "No! It's not your fault!" Because it's not--it's never the victim's fault. Vaughn really didn't have an excuse.  

Anyway, overall it's a tricky topic to handle, and I'm sure I haven't done it in the best way possible--I'll be working on that, and any thoughts/feedback/dissenting opinions are welcome.

Aside from that note--thank you all so much for following Alex et al on this angsty mean journey! As a writer, I obviously derive a lot of happiness from writing itself. But it's an entirely different kind of happiness to know that there are people enjoying the stories I'm telling, people who can maybe feel for my beloved characters as I do. I appreciate you to the moon and back!

Love,

Jana