Athletics & Average Advice: How to be a mindful superstar

How to build meaningful friendships and have meaningful relationships

I'm sure that most of us have a close group of friends that they'll probably be friends with for the rest of their lives. I'm sure that some of us have met a significant other that they may end up marrying and spending the rest of their lives together. I do have a group of friends that I will be friends with for the rest of my life. They're the people I met while in college running track. We became family fast and I know for a fact that we'll all be attending each other's weddings and catching up when our schedules align with one another. I know some people met their closest friends in middle or high school, but for me, that wasn't the case. Sure, I have about three close friends from high school that I still talk to and keep up with, but everyone else I can confidently say I'm not friends with. There's no bad blood or anything between us, it's just I don't see them as people that would look out for my best interests like my friends do now. I haven't met a woman who has shown genuine interest without the extra baggage. Honestly, I haven't met a woman who takes me seriously and I guess it's because I'm "different" from other people. Most people that know me describe as a "nerd" because I'm smarter than the average individual and I like things such as anime, videogames, reading, and writing. I don't see those kinds of activities as being "nerdy," but I guess that's just how society views things. I also wear glasses and I guess that's considered a nerd quality too. I'm the type of person that will sit and educate myself about something and relax rather than take time and go out and party with people. I'm not saying partying is a bad thing, but there's more to life and the party must stop sometime. Despite being a "nerd," I knew for a fact that I, and my friends, were better athletes than our appearances gave off. In order to create meaningful friendships with people, you have to start with the source of friendship: conversation. You have to speak with people who you feel have the same interests as you and you can build a bond with. I want to give you all advice on how to create meaningful relationships, both from a friendship and relationship standpoint, with people and how to deal with people when things begin to go south. I'll start with friendship advice first.

Be yourself. Nobody likes someone who isn't genuine

Now, we've all had a "fake" friend or fake friends before. They're the people who act like they're friends with you but in reality, they wouldn't have your back in a situation or look out for you in the same manner that you would them. You spend all this time creating a bond that doesn't even mean anything to the person when you could've met someone who likes you for who you are. I'm guilty of this. I remember my freshman and sophomore years of high school I would sit with my football teammates at lunch. I knew other people; however, I would just sit with them because I thought of them as "cool people." Looking back, I know most of those guys didn't think much of me and I honestly know now that I'm more than likely doing much better than them. I'm not trying to sound arrogant or anything, but some people don't understand that you have to pick and choose your friends wisely. At the time, I didn't do that. I know during my years of elementary, middle, and high school, most of my peers would refer to me as the "whitest black guy," they knew. The term "Oreo" was used frequently with me. Because I didn't talk or act like their version of a "stereotypical black guy" it made me less black than my other African American peers. Most of the people I went to school with I had known since we were young, and I guess they thought of me as the type of person that wouldn't say or do anything. I don't feel the need to address them now because it was back in high school. Plus, they probably still have the same opinion of me now like they did back then. I don't care what they think of me, nor do I feel the need to show someone I've changed. I'm the type of person that will not sit and argue with someone because it's a waste of time. I'll look at you, laugh, and go on about my business. I'm not a confrontational person so long as you talk to me with some rationale. After those first two years, I had some friends that I would eat lunch with, but nine times out of ten I was a loner. I preferred to stay to myself off campus or head to the library to do homework. I had "friends," but not good friends if you get the context of what I'm saying. Looking back, I wish I was more myself and found a group of people who had the same interests as me and who wanted to see me win. Sure, I was known in high school, but it wasn't because I was popular. It was because I was a great athlete. I didn't begin to be myself until I got to college and met people who enjoyed the same activities as me. Plus, they were driven, and we all had to endure the same struggles on the track together. The friends I met in college really helped me appreciate being myself and I'm forever grateful for that. The point of my story is this: "Be yourself and the right people will come to you." You won't have to worry about having the wrong people in your circle as long as you stay true to who you are as a person. Like I said, nobody likes a fake friend.