Plans Change

Chapter One

My head is pounding furiously. I feel as though I am going to pass out any second.. I know why I feel this way. I feel this way because I made a mistake. A terrible, horrible, no-good mistake. I don't know why I did it. Wait, yes I do. I did it because I love him. And he loves me. I shouldn't regret it as much as I do. It's done and over with now. I made that choice. He didn't make it for me. But yet I still can't fathom the fact that I actually and truly did it. My boyfriend and I had sex last night. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Something I managed to keep for the past 18 years. My boyfriend, Adam, of three years. I had promised myself I would not have sex before marriage.. yet I did it anyway. I don't understand what came over me. This doesn't change anything. It can't change anything.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

My phone buzzes signaling that I have a text, so I pick my phone up and unlock the screen to see who it is that texted me. It's Adam.

Hey, Bella. Are you ok?
-Adam

I cringe slightly at the sight of his name for me. He took Bella from my middle name, Annabella. I quickly type a reply and push send.

Yes, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?
-Allie

That's a lie. I'm not fine.

I feel the vibrating from my phone.

I'm just wondering. Considering... what we did last night... I just wanted to make sure you're ok.
-Adam

My stomach seems to do flips in response to his text.

I'm fine, Adam. Really.
-Allie

I'm such a liar. It doesn't matter though. He doesn't need to know my feelings towards the situation.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

Ice cream?
-Adam

Be there in ten.
-Allie

I must act as though nothing is wrong. Adam's a good guy. I don't want him to worry. I wanted it at the time, and that's all he needs to know.

I gather my purse and phone and head out the door.

I only live a short distance from the ice cream parlor we always attend, so I always walk. Once the ice cream parlor comes into view, I acquire a feeling of uneasiness. I walk in and see Adam sitting at our usual booth. His curly brown hair lays messily atop his head. I head over to him. He smiles when he sees me. I force a smile upon my face. He gets up and gives me a hug. He makes sure to squeeze me like he always does.

"Bella." He breathes out.

"Adam." I reply. As soon as I respond, he releases me. He never lets me go until I reply.

We sit down on opposite sides of the table and he just stares at me with his beautiful light, crystal blue eyes. It is not unsual for him to stare at me, but the way he's doing it right now is.

"Adam?"

"Yeah?"

"What's wrong?"

He is hesitant to answer. I see it in his eyes. He reaches across the table and grabs my hands in his. He stares deeply into my eyes, as though he is searching for something in them. I just hope all that he finds is the worry I have for him at this moment.

"Do you regret it?" He finally speaks with his voice just barely audible.

"Why? Do you?" I fire back. I can't tell him that I do regret it. It would break his heart.

"No! I just... I... You know I wanted it. I just feel like you didn't." He chokes out while staring at me meaningfully.

"Adam, you know me. Do you think I would have said I was ready if I truly wasn't?" I tell him, even though I can barely refrain from telling him the truth. He nods in agreement and gives me a hopeful look.

"I love you, Bella." He states.

"I love you too, Adam." I give his right hand a squeeze. Now this statement was true. The only true thing I have told him all day.

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Well this a new story I have decided to write, obviously. I'm not sure if it will be any good, given I have no life experience whatsoever with the situation at hand. But I hope that it is somewhat enjoyable. Please provide me with feedback!