Bughead Oneshots

Just have to wait

TW- mentions of suicide (there's not actually any, just a small mention of it)

Betty feels like she's slipping, out of existence, out of feeling, out of everything. But then again, she's not. She's perfectly fine, it's just another normal day.

Right? That's how it should be, she's fine.

No, no she's not

But she is?

How are you supposed to feel when the person who raised you, taught you how to fly a kite, how to fix a car, how to be kind, was a murderer? He was gone, dead, nothing more than another one of the thousands of bodies buried six feet underground, yet he had a not so special funeral.

She knew he was a monster, she knew she should hate, she did hate him, but she also didn't. She wished he was here, here like the father he should've been, here to help her through all this.

She was always a daddy's girl, maybe that's why he chose her to torment, or maybe he wanted to ruin her. She would never know, that chance was whisked from her when Penelope Blossom shot a 6 inch silver bullet through the side of his head.

Now here she was, tirelessly trudging on through endless days, confused on her feelings, confused on her thoughts, the only solid thing in her life seemed to be Jughead and her friends, at times.

She wanted to stray away from them, save them all from the curse that was the Cooper name. But, she couldn't, they wouldn't let her. They wouldn't let her fall into the pit she had wallowingly dug for herself.

A lot was brought to light when Fred Andrews died, but many demons stayed in the shadows, begging to be burned by that bright shining sun that could kill.

Fred Andrews was a hero, Hal Cooper was a murderer, Fred Andrews was a family man, Hal Cooper tried to murder his family, Fred Andrews was her father figure, Hal Cooper was her father. Fred Andrews was her best friends dad, Hal Cooper tried to kill Fred Andrews.

Hal Cooper killed her friends, and so many other innocent people, trying to kill her and threatening to kill her loved ones and friends.

So why did she miss him? Why did she want to have a solid relationship with him but also not? She knew something was wrong with her, maybe she was going crazy, maybe she had some weird disease, or maybe it was the moa-a gene.

That damned x chromosom that wouldn't leave her alone, it chased her, clouded her mind, showered her in all things dark and twisted. She didn't want it, she didn't want to be the black hoods daughter.

She wanted to be Betty Cooper, but with how her life was going at the moment, she probably wouldn't be. Everyone judged her, everyone gave her weird looks. There was no escaping the mystery that she had brought upon herself.

Add to that, her mother coming back and living with all them. She was happy Alice was safe, that her mom was ok, but she was slipping back into the life control, mind altering, neurotic controler she was.

She never heard the end of things, it was always this or that, 'Betty, one day your eating habits are going to catch up to you' 'you need to eat healthier' 'maybe if you cut back on everything you would lose some weight'

It seems taking constant showers was a part of being insane, the feeling of the warm stream of water made her feel at peace. 'Your grades are slipping! A 'B' is not good enough!' 'why can't you be more like your sister was'

Polly was crazy, she had a few too many screws loose, lost custody of her kids, which technically Betty was supposed to take care of them but didn't, sent to a place much like the sisters of quiet mercy but not at culty and punishy.

'You know, if you ever got out of the house once in a while you would have more friends.' 'Your so anti-social!'

She was trying, trying not to be anti-social, trying to go to pops and school and see everyone throwing judgy looks.

'Your just like your father' 'My god! You're so manipulative!'

Words that haunted her, words that Alice has said, words that Betty has tried to forgive her for, but couldn't. Alice's excuse and apology was to break down crying saying she was a bad mother and Betty needed a new one.

And Betty was the manipulative one, why her? Why was she cast with this disaster of a life? She just wanted it to all go away, but not for it to end.

As in, she didn't want to kill herself she just wanted everything to go away. She couldn't figure out her feelings, would she ever? Or was she stuck in an endless cycle of self-hatred and woe?

Maybe, when she thought about it, she was 18, she could technically leave Riverdale and never look back but, Jughead, her friends. She didn't want to just up and leave them.

All she had to do was wait, until the end of the school year, she would move out, hopefully with Jughead, go to whatever the hell college she was going to and leave behind this nightmare.

But for now, all she could do was wait.

So, this may or may not have been a rant I wrote in the middle of a break down but it's fine