Absolution ➺ H.S. AU

Chapter 26 ➺ Paisley

I led Harry out to the back porch, a nervous pull in the pit of my stomach.

I knew this conversation wasn't going to be easy, even if we were on the same page. Last night was confusing hurricane of emotion, centered around events that neither of us have yet to get over and that neither of us can change. Although the accident was well over eight months ago, that's where a lot of the roots of our problem lay, but also where the root of our relationship grows.

On the other hand, however, this morning has just been the tell all sign for me that I care much more about Harry than I thought.

Our friendship was intense from the start. Lots of emotion and feelings that were hard to uncover. But it wasn't our fault. I guess the naive part of me just thought we were both emotional people and that our whirlwind of feelings was just a repercussion of the accident. I never thought that the underlying chemistry could turn out to be more.

We sat on the cushioned bench on the back porch, about a foot of space between the two of us. The sun was out, shining around us, and the spring morning had a soft breeze to it. I didn't exactly know how to start the conversation, and was hoping Harry could lead us off.

"So..." I said.

"So." He said, green eyes piercing into mine. We were quiet for another few moments until Harry spoke up. "What are we gonna do about this. Us?"

"Us?" I asked. I don't want anything to be left undiscussed or misunderstood. Harry was silent for a minute before clearing his throat.

"Paisley, I've gone back and forth in my head for weeks. I don't know when I started having these feelings for you. Maybe it was last night but more likely it was the first time I made eye contact with you, your body laying there in the middle of the street. This whole process of your recovery and us becoming friends has been nothing like I've ever experienced before. I've never cared as much for someone as much as I do for you. And I've just now realized that those feelings go deeper than just friends." As his words sunk in, the thoughts in my mind seemed to go at a mile a minute.

"Ummm..." I said, not quite sure how to respond. Harry just openly declared his feelings for me and I'm not sure how I feel. I know I care about Harry a lot, but I don't yet know the depth of those feelings and I hadn't even thought about them being romantic feelings at all until last night.

"Shit. I, you, I don't know what I want you to say. Sorry I just dumped all of that on you like that."

"No, I'm glad it's all out in the open." I said.

"Yeah, I guess." Harry said, a hint of dismal in his tone. We were both silent for a moment as I tried to figure out what to say.

"I care about you so much, Harry. We've become so close these past months and I've really loved being able to help you transform into the more caring, loving man you've become. And, I guess I just never thought of you romantically until last night, and I'm still not quite sure how I feel about it."

"I get that. I was so confused at first, too. Last night, though, when we kissed cleared it all up for me."

"I just really value our friendship. Especially with Hattie gone, you've been a really big support. That's why it would kill me if all of this ever stopped, because I depend so much on you. However, I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel the spark when your lips met mine." Harry perked up when I said this, a smile gracing his lips and his green eyes shining as they bore into mine.

"You felt it too?" He asked hopefully. The way he was looking at me was so innocent and vulnerable and so un-Harry-like, that I couldn't help but giggle.