Zero

17 : Jarren's Past

P A R T 1 7

Mindjournal #30

10 August 0800 hours

Been a few days since we discovered the Flyns. Have not found anyone else since. Cobbs guy taking forever to make an appearance.

Another day of searching today.

2100 hours

Back in the shed.

Met the Eleven today. Scrawny little boy, lives in conditions nearly as bad as Zeros. Thirteen years old, olive skin, bright green eyes, mouse brown hair. Enhanced ability? Super strength. Can't tell on first look. Doesn't look strong enough to carry a pebble.

Interestingly, we did not find him. He came to us. Sneaky kid he is. Overheard about our search and generator room meetings from our conversations.

He did not look for me, obviously. Went to Pandora instead. She seemed safest to him I guess, though I don't even know why. In terms of niceness I think the Seventeen may fit better. Who cares about niceness in a world like this, though?

Rambling now. Trying to prevent the sparks from overtaking.

Must not remember the past. Forget - have to try and bury everything away. Too many sparks, I can't see anything. Must hide it; Pandora is starting to notice.

Burying my head in knees and arms. Curl into a ball.

But I cannot stop the sparks in my eyes. I cannot stop the past rushing up to claim me, dragging me back to ten years ago.

◇

I was in my room in my mother's high-rise apartment, aware that something was wrong. My parents were in the living room speaking to some people.

My father was a Nine and my mother was an Eight. They got married in their twenties; people with numbers above Six are allowed to marry someone of a different number.

Even though they could not live together due to the law that people must stick to their own numbers, they often visited each other and went out together everyday.

Then my mother had me and when she discovered I was a Four, she wanted desperately to keep me with her instead of obeying the law and handing me to an orphanage in Four.

She and my father managed to hide me from the government for seven years.

And then they found out.

It was them in the living room. The Number Chief was there. He's the one in charge of finding people who do not stay with others of the same number, then dealing with them in various ways.

He and his 'assistants' (thugs) were threatening my parents to give them a million dollars or they would take me back to the government.

But somehow I knew what they were thinking - they weren't planning to keep the deal. They were going to take me AND the money.

So I rushed out into the living room thoughtlessly and begged my parents not to give them the money. There were huge thugs in the room; one of them scooped me up, preparing to haul me away. To where, I didn't know.

My father then whipped out a pistol and aimed its barrel at the thug who had me.

"Let him go," he snarled. "Now."

"Ain't happening, Mister," the Number Chief sneered. He then revealed that he had a gun of his own and pointed it at my mother. "You will drop YOUR gun now, or your wife dies."

My father hesitated for a single moment, but that is his fatal mistake. The Number Chief fired the gun. All I heard was a pop of the silent bullet, the loud thump as my mother's body hit the floor, and silence.

But that only lasted for half a second before the room exploded into hysteria. My father fired at the thug who held me. I managed to escape his grasp as he fell to the ground.

These images are dislodging in my mind now. I do not know what happened after that - no, I do not want to remember what happened after that.

Fragments appear in my mind anyway. My father's last words to me, telling me he loves me. Blood, blood everywhere. On my mother's shirt, staining the white fabric a scarlet red where the gunshot wound is. Blood on a machete. On my father's butchered body. On the furniture (no help given by the fact that most of the furniture is white). Too much blood. The room is a sea of red.

Another thug pinned my arms to my back. I watched helplessly as my parents were slaughtered. I was crying.

I am crying.

I remember the weeks that followed were no better. I was brought to the Central Government Firm. The Number Chief suspected something was up after I read their thoughts.

At that time I had no idea what I could do with my mind or that it was even unusual. So when the Number Chief used many different torture devices on me to try and force out information I did not have, I could not tell him anything.

I was in agony for weeks and my mind was almost completely numbed. Then one day I mentioned to him that I could read minds. He knew immediately that he had to get rid of me, on that day itself.

He did try. But what happened after that is something I will never forget.

Suffice to say that he died. How I managed to escape the Firm is a mystery and definitely a miracle. I headed to Four, the only place I could go.

The government caught up with me the next day but weirdly, they didn't lay a hand on me. They did give instructions to the villagers though, and of course the villagers paid heed.

I felt like I was losing my mind. Sometimes I did and for a short time too. But a lot of destruction can occur in a short time. The villagers were probably glad they locked up the mad seven-year-old boy in the shed.

People were assigned to bring me food and necessities because no Four wanted me to be out of that shed. They were all afraid even though I was harmless most of the time. Also, the assigned person was replaced every three years.

Then a few months ago, I met Monty Jones. He had graduated from school and seemed pretty educated for a Four. He had heard of my 'condition' and wanted to help me, which was a first.

Need to refer back through journal entries now.

Mindjournal #1

9 May 5p.m.

Jones suggested this entire thing. He's been visiting for the past few days, more often than needed.

Once he said, "You can do unusual stuff with your mind, right? Well then, you should be able to record stuff down in your mind."

Asked him what's the point.

He replied that I'll be able to keep better track of events. It's like a journal in your mind, he said.

Taking this suggestion to record down actual events, if there are any, of my life in this shed.

Asked if I could go out. He shook his head but gave me a thoughtful look.

And now I have an underground passageway to outside. It's muddy when there's rain but it's better than nothing.

Will explore forests tomorrow and keep away from village.

◇

Losing your mind is exhausting, even if it's just for a few minutes. I lean up against a tree (wait, a tree??) and let the world fade away.