Lams one shots

My dearest, Alexander 🥀 angst

*WARNING. this one shot contains strong suicidal themes. feel free to stop reading if you are uncomfortable with these themes*

"OPEN THE HELL UP, LITTLE BITCH!" His voice rang out as he shook the doorknob. Laurens frantically pressed himself on the door. He fumbled for his phone and shakily opened his boyfriend, Alexander. His father continued cursing at him, shaking the door behind the curly haired boy. "Come on, come on!!" Laurens whimpered, typing frantically.

My dearest, Alexander Hamilton.

I'm writing this to thank you for helping me feel love. Please don't cry, I don't want you to be sad. I want you to just remember me. Remember the better times, when we didn't have to worry about our safety. About us. When we could just be us, be in love, without anyone threatening to kill us for loving. Take care of my turtles, to remember me. You can keep everything of mine to remember me. Just please don't forget me. And please, stay strong for me!

'Send it. Send it now, you fucking-' John thought, but was interrupted by a bang at the door. It sent a jolt through him, and sealed it. John sent the message. He locked the door behind him and ran to the window, fiddling with the lock. He hands would have been dry if his tears had not been spilled on them. Finally, the old lock undid. John lifted the window and swung a leg out. There was the ring of a gunshot and the door flew open. The curly haired boy flung himself off the windowsill. He landed a few yards below the window, making his vision vibrate, but John picked himself up. A bullet landed near his ankle but buried itself in the dirt beside him. He ran as fast as he could, faintly hearing his dad yell "I'M CALLING THE COPS, LITTLE FAG!" At this point, John couldn't care if he tried. The tears spilled out, his legs now moving on their own. He stopped when he realized he was on the bridge. When he ran to the side, he didn't see the water. He saw the gateway to a better place. An exit from his pain. He lifted himself up and sat on the railing, swaying slightly. He took off his hoodie and placed it behind him on the bridge. Suddenly, yells filled his head. His name. He couldn't tell if they were in anger or anguish. They rang out in his ears, clouding his mind. Unable to stand it anymore, John gripped the railing and pushed off.
He was stopped by arms wrapping themselves around his chest from the back. John assumed it was his nerve system and struggled to move forward. His name rang out again and again, clearer than ever now.
"JOHN! JOHN, PLEASE, STOP!"
John finally slowed to a stop when the voice became clear. He turned around to see Alexander, crying, staring up at him. Alex pulled John down gently and kneeled in front of him. "J-John..." Alex couldn't form the words. He embraced him tightly and began sobbing freely. He gripped Laurens, afraid he would try to escape again. Laurens stared forward, stuck in a state of fear for about a minute. Another sob rang out in Laurens ears, snapping him awake. The tears returned. Laurens began sobbing with Alex, gripping him just as tight, if not tighter. His sobs were even worse than Alex's. They were like small screams. Laurens couldn't believe he was here. He leaned into the embrace even more, causing them to fall over. They were interrupted by sirens. Laurens, still gripping Alex, sat up.
"C-Cops...Dad..." He sniffled. Alex caught on quickly. "We...have to...go." Lauren's continued, standing up. Alex quickly tugged him down. "No! It's okay. You're innocent. We're innocent. We need to stay here, so we can tell them about your dad. Please don't go." Alex pleaded. He stood up in front of Laurens.
"O-Okay. I won't. I'm not going anywhere Alex. Don't worry." John comforted him. This hit Alex's heart hard. Despite his boyfriend having just tried to commit suicide, John was still the one comforting Alex. It stung him. Fresh tears streamed down his face. He once again wrapped himself in Johns arms. John immediately hugged back, silent tears flowing down.
"I really thought I'd be too late." Alex breathed shakily. "John...I was so scared when I got that message."
"It must've been pretty bad then. Nothing scares you." John smiled weakly. Alex heaved another sob. "Alex, please, love, don't cry. It's hurting me more to see you cry then-it's probably too early to joke about this, huh?" John muttered. Alex let out a weak laugh, and looked up at Laurens. Suddenly, bright blue and red lights glared at them. Laurens yelped and buried his face in Alex's chest. Alex stroked Laurens curly hair soothing and squinted at the figures running toward them.

"HANDS IN THE AIR!" A cop yelled, pulling out a gun. Laurens peeked up and saw the gun. His breathing became heavy and shaky as his entire body went into a tremble. His legs gave out and tears of fear blocked out his vision. His dad repeated in his head, pointing the gun at him. His breathing became raspy as fear choked him. He fell into the familiar arms of Alex beside him.

"Put the gun away!" Alex barked. "This is a misunderstanding!"

The cop rolled his eyes. "That's what they all say, man. And guess what? There's no proof. Get your-"

"I have proof!"

The cop paused in surprise before snickering. "Right. Proof."

Furiously, Alex pulled out his phone. "You want proof?!! I'll show you proof!" He opened the message John had sent him and shoved it in the officers arms. He then turned back to John and rubbed his back comfortingly. "It's okay, baby. I'm here. Don't worry. I'm here. Your dad can't hurt you."

The cop looked up quizzically. "His...father?"

Alex, without lifting his gaze, explained. "His dad...I'm not sure what, but from what I'm picking up, he-"

"He-He used a gun. To open the door. And then tried to shoot me." John muttered. The cop froze. He tossed the phone back to Alex and turned to Laurens.

"What's your address, sir? If we're fast, we can get your father under arrest."

Laurens bit his lip before divulging. "2340, Mercer Street." He felt guilt swallow him for exposing his dad like this. Inside, he couldn't be THAT bad. But the cops were off, leaving Alex and Laurens alone again.

"I can still... hear him..." Laurens gulped. Alex covered one ear and pressed the other to his chest.

"It's okay, Laurens. I'm right here. You can do this. You're doing it now. I'm so proud of you, John. I'm so proud of you. You're doing great. Just focus on breathing. Take a deep breath in-" Alex soothed. Laurens did as he said. "-hold it for a second, focus on it, now let it out. You're doing so good, John, I'm so proud of you. I love you so much, John Laurens. I know what you're thinking is scary, but it's not dangerous. You're breathing. You're alive. You're safe."

Laurens breathes out slowly, focusing on only his breaths, and slowly, he calmed down. He looked up at Alex with a grateful expression.

"Do you need anything else, baby?" Alex comfortingly stroked his hair.

"Can...can we just stay here for a while, please?" Laurens whispered pleadingly.

"Of course we can."

Laurens positioned himself so he could hear Alex's heart beat. It comforted him to know Alex was there. He cuddled up to him, stealing his warmth. Alex smiled and grabbed the hoodie John had taken off and wrapped it around Laurens. "I-I don't deserve you, Lexi."The curly haired boy mumbled.

"John Laurens...you deserve a guy a million times better then me. Hell, you deserve the whole world." Alex insisted softly, playing with his boyfriend's soft curls.

"That's one thing." Laurens said mischievously.

"What?" The brunette boy responded.

"You are my world. Thus, what you compared it to was the same thing." A confident grin grew in Johns face as he saw Alex's face grow red. Satisfied, John closed his eyes and listened contentedly to Alex's heartbeat, which was now fluttering faster, but slowed quickly. The rhythmical thumps eventually lulled Laurens to sleep. His hand fell onto Alex's, which Alex took softly and squeezed gently. He leaned back against the bridge and watched the slowly lightening sky change color with the sun rising. Laurens soft breathing lulled Alex into a sleep too, and a slow road to recovery began.

a/n

oof. this hit me to write. sorry for the vent writing. i hope you enjoyed!

~s