16 - Sextánda

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"Rayne?" Valente called out to me, pulling me out of a daze. "Are you going to keep staring at me or will you please tell me why you didn't come to school today?"

As the day's events came rushing back to me, my sense of anxiety came back too, causing me to pull away from him and take a little step back. I looked at my feet.

"Woah okay, that is not okay. What happened butterfly?" he asked again, taking a step towards me.

I didn't know how to tell him his aunt's words cut through my heart like a knife, and as much as anyone could try and reassure me, I'd never be truly happy thinking about a future with Valente till Sylvia and I are at peace.

Valente's face suddenly went from concerned to angry.

Alpha angry.

"Did someone say something to you? Did someone hurt you in any way? I can feel your distress Rayne so don't you dare try to hide it," he said sternly.

I might as well have this conversation with him now, rather than later.

"Valente," I had his full attention. "Sylvia," I said, and that was all I could manage. I didn't want to sound complaining about his aunt. So I was stuck thinking about how to continue.

"Aunty? What did she do?" he asked.

"She didn't do anything. She came to our house this morning," I said, noticing the way his eyebrows raised as if to say that-can't-have-gone-well.

"She'd found my shoes underneath your window, and guessed who owned them," I told him. Valente was quiet.

"She's told me to stay away from you," I continued.

"I think you're highly understating what really happened," he said to me, clearly realizing Sylvia's true capacity.

He sighed.

"She can't do anything Rayne. You don't have to worry about her," he said, putting his arms around me.

It took everything in my power to pull his hands away.

"Valente, Rosa thinks it is a good idea for us to stay out of Sylvia's way till you're Alpha," I told him.

"Well Rosa isn't Alpha, I am. And what I say goes," he said, but he didn't touch me again.

As I looked at my feet again, I could feel dejection coming from him.

"Do you want to stay that way?" he asked me.

"It's not about what I want-"

"Yes. It is. Only if you want to keep a distance from me, I'll oblige. Otherwise, I don't give two shits about what anyone else thinks," he said. "Does it all bother you enough to stay away from me?"

I didn't know the answer to that question. When you've grown up socially awkward in a community where most of the people there consider you an outcast, you tend to stay away from their prying eyes and ready clutches as much as possible, avoiding any unnecessary contact.

Agreeing to be with Valente would put me on display for further hate. Valente was right, Sylvia and the rest of the pack need to find peace before they can finally stop blaming me for the Grimmileg Árás.

"Yes. It does," I said, rather quietly.

Valente took a step back, looking at me as if this wasn't what he expected me to say. I could give him that, he's not been in my shoes.

"I thought you were tougher than that Rayne," he said, his quiet laugh without mirth.

"But you're not. I was a fool to think that you'd care about me the same way I did for you," the hurt in his eyes as he spoke shone like lightning in a stormy grey sky, each word striking me painfully.

"Valente-"

"You don't have to explain. I get it. Sticks and stones never break your bones, but it's words that bother you. Didn't Rosa ever teach you that's not what real strength looks like?" he was shaking a little now.

I didn't reject him. I never could. But his manner made me think that he felt rejection.

I want to be with Valente more than anything. I really do. But I'm afraid of what might happen if we are together before Fathilagt finds peace. It was all his idea too, but the distance was something that he didn't realize we needed.

I took a step towards him, pulling his hands into mine, in an attempt to comfort him in any way.

But he pulled his hands back roughly, slightly shaking with anger.

"If distance is what you want, I'll give it to you," he said now turning away from me. "I'm going away for a few days anyway. You'll get readjusted to my indifference in that time."

His words were so painful, I almost wanted to take back my decision just so he wouldn't be so upset with me. But I couldn't.

"Where will you go?" I asked him quietly.

He paused for just a second to speak through my mind before he left me alone.

"The Palace."

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