I Can't Help Falling In Love With You (A One Direction FanFiction)

Chapter 12

Niall’s POV

                  “Well that was brilliant Liam.” I huffed, grabbing my jacket off the banister and slamming the front door behind me, ignoring Liam’s calls of protest. I understand breaking the news to Leah about Liam’s girlfriend, just not like that. He literally sprang it on her with no warning. Oh by the way he has a girlfriend, hope that doesn’t bother you… what a dick. I ran down the dimly lit street, my trainers slapping loudly against the concrete. “LEAH!” I shouted, praying she’d at least answer me. I was greeted by silence. “Damnit,” I muttered under my breath, putting my arms behind my head and breathing deeply. “LEAH! IT’S NIALL, PLEASE, WHERE ARE YOU?!” I shouted out for her again. That’s when I heard it. Small hiccups, thankfully easily heard in the deadly quiet of the night. I found her sat on the bench of the nearest bus stop. I smiled a bit having found her, but it faltered when I saw the state she was in. In just the matter of minutes she’d run away, her hair had gotten a bit crazy, her makeup was smeared across her eyes and her body looked small and fragile as she sat with her arms wrapped around herself. I took a seat next to her and enveloped her in my arms. We sat like that for a while, the only noise were Leah’s subsiding sobs.

                  “Why Niall? Why her?” She whispered, staring up at me expectantly. I swiped the makeup stains off her eyes with my thumb and stared into her deep blue eyes.

                  “I don’t know babe… but he doesn’t know what he’s missing.” And I meant that. If I were Liam, I would have picked Leah over Danielle in a heartbeat. Leah smiled weakly at me, and then focused on her hands, lost in thought. She looked up again, locking eyes with mine. I was suddenly aware of how close our faces were, I could feel her shaky breath against my face and it made my stomach do flips. She leaned closer to me, her eyes slowly closing as she closed the space between our lips. It felt just like the last kiss we had shared at the lake, but this time I knew it was different. I felt like a rebound. The desperation in her kiss made me realize that she wasn’t thinking of kissing me… but instead I knew she was imagining Liam’s face in place of mine. I pulled away abruptly mentally cursing myself for kissing her back.

                  “Niall?” she sounded genuinely confused.

                  “Leah you know I love you, not just as a friend but obviously as more, but I can’t be your rebound. I know you want Liam and I’m just your backup and I don’t want to be that. I want to be your first choice but I can’t ask you to change your feelings so I just don’t think we should do that anymore…” I didn’t dare look at her. I knew if I did, I’d change my mind and start kissing her again, but I didn’t want to put myself in that kind of situation… I knew my heart wouldn’t be able to handle it.

                  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be doing that to you. Erm I think we should go… you think?” She asked getting up and reaching a hand out for me. I just nodded and took her hand, attempting to ignore the sparks that attacked my hand.

Leah’s POV

                  As we walked back to the house in an awkward silence I began to feel nervous. I couldn’t go back in that house after I’d stormed off like I did. I couldn’t face Liam and his new girlfriend… she probably thinks I’m crazy now. I glanced sideways at Niall. His face was placid, his lips pressed in a tight line as he thought about something. I quickly looked back at the ground in front of my shoes.

                  I’m such a horrible person. I’m such a whore. Why would anyone want me anyway? No wonder Liam chose Danielle. No wonder Niall didn’t want to be around me anymore. No wonder I was so alone…

                  When we arrived back at Liam’s house I let Niall go in before me. I took a deep breath to compose myself, keeping my face blank. I couldn’t let them know what I was planning to do. I said hello again to the boys and quickly excused myself to the restroom. I went to Liam’s knowing he would have what I needed. I stared at my face in the mirror, face puffy from past tears and the new ones forming now. I couldn’t stand to watch myself do what I was about to do. I reached into Liam’s shower and grabbed his razor off the ledge. I stared at it ominously. This small blade had the power to kill me, and I was ready to get away from here. I know it sounds a bit dramatic, attempting to kill myself over Liam but that wasn’t the only reason. If I killed myself, I wouldn’t be so alone anymore. I’d be with my dad, the one who really understood me and yeah my mum would be devastated, the boys probably would be too, but they were the only ones really. Other than them, I had nobody. At least nobody who really cared. I watched my tears fall in droplets onto the warm skin of my arm, christening it as I sliced the razor across my wrist. I’d never done anything like this to myself before, but I knew that if I was to do this right, I’d have to deal with the burning pain that seared my arm. I didn’t think I’d be able to make another cut, this first one was too painful, but if I wanted to die I knew I’d need more than just one. I continued to slice until I couldn’t bear the pain anymore. I let out a shrill scream at my most recent cut. My blood was dripping down my wrist and into my hand, landing in a small puddle on the floor. It was then that I heard voices and footsteps. Damnit! I wanted to be gone before they found me. That way I wouldn’t have to deal with their accusations and their looks of desperation. I took one large and final slice across my forearm as the door burst open. Liam’s face was the last thing I saw before I blacked out.

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Alright lets be honest here. Who hates me for not updating? 

*everyone raises hand*

Good I figured as much.

BUT SERIOUSLY THERE IS IMPORTANT INFO BELOW - READ NOW OR FOREVER WISH YOU HAD! 

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Okie dokie then. Well this chapter is short and kind of horrible. I'm really starting to lose my way with this story. I don't know how to make it good because right now it kind of sucks. I know some of you like it and are gonna comment and be like "Oh no it's not horrible i love it! Keep writing xx" and then there might be some people who are gonna be like "Yeah basically you should just stop writing." 

WELL. I'm not positive yet but I'll probably end up putting this story on hold for a while, or just deleting it altogether. I have some other ideas for other stories that hopefully have a better plot than this one.

HOWEVER. IF... I get a sufficient amount of comments and votes (lets say about 10 votes and 8 comments) then for those lovely people who actually like this story, I will continue.

Kay? We cool? Awesome. 

SO IF YOU LIKE THIS STORY AND YOU WANT TO KEEP READING IT: VOTE AND COMMENT

if you hate it well then you can delete it from your library. see ya.

PS. Fans are also much appreciated (:

xx Lindsay