🅢🅐🅕🅔 🅗🅐🅥🅔🅝| Madwheeler

chapter 11

(Tw for this chapter; self harm)

Max was sitting on her bed, hugging the one hoodie Mike had given her very tightly, missing his warmth. Her being left completely alone wasn't a good thing and she was letting her emotions and thoughts take too much control of her. She was upset with everything relating to Mike, but mostly just how she couldn't rely on him anymore like she had done a few times. She wished it didn't hurt her so much but it did. She had relied on that. His home had became her safe haven for those two nights and she had hoped it would have remained that way but it didn't. She wanted it back, needed it. She felt so safe and she wished she could feel safe again like that. She knew she could continue to go to his house for comfort if she needed to since he offered but she couldn't because to her it would just feel wrong, especially with El back in Hawkins.

In regards to how she felt about Mike she had no idea. He had saved her more than he would ever know and because of that she loved him for those nights. But since it didn't continue she didn't love him anymore. Or at least that's what she told herself. Because it hurt her to admit she still loved him even though he was back with El now. It wasn't like he ever wasn't with her anyways, El had just come back so they were spending more time together again. And Max had to remind herself constantly that they were together and that she had no chance with Mike and that them becoming even just friends was questionable.

Suddenly emotions overtook her and she started crying, unable to help the tears streaming down her face. After a few minutes she started choking on her tears and drowned the hoodie with her tears that she couldn't seem to stop no matter how hard she tried.
She set the hoodie down and got up, making her way to the bathroom. She needed an outlet. Something to distract her heart from missing those nights, from missing that safety, from missing him.

The good Mike, the loving Mike that had shone through those few times. But now El was the only one who would see that side of him, all of the time. Max felt she needed that more than El, as selfish as that thought was. But she reminded herself that El had been through a lot also, but even that couldn't rid the redheaded girl of jealousy coursing through her veins.

She opened a drawer to reveal a pair of scissors. A flicker of the idea of hurting herself crossed her mind but she didn't want to turn to that. She knew if she started that she wouldn't be able to stop. But she couldn't resist the urge that overcame her like a wave. She grabbed the pair of scissors and dug the sharp end into her skin and dragged it down her arm. She screamed in pain and dropped the scissors, unable to cut herself anymore. Blood dripped from her arm and onto the tile floor as she collapsed onto the floor and leaned against the cabinets. She sobbed even louder as she gripped her arm, it now stinging like hell. At least it took her mind off Mike.

Even if it was only for a second.

***

Mike was still laying on his bed staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep for some reason unknown to him though he was sure it was just that he had too much on his mind. Suddenly he gained an odd feeling that something was wrong with Max. He didn't know why or if that feeling was even accurate but he felt the need to check up on her, especially knowing the bad things she could possibly be doing to herself. He quickly escaped through his window and got on his bike, pedaling to her house as quickly as he possibly could. Once he got there he got off his bike and laid it aside as he rushed up to the front door.

***

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and she became panicked. Who on earth would be knocking at the door at this time? She quickly grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her bleeding arm as she made her way to the door. She opened it a crack with her wrapped arm so whoever it was wouldn't be able to see it. To her surprise and disappointmentment it was Mike. "Mike? What are you doing here?" She asked in confusion.