It was ironic,
The whole thing really.
I had just been talking about,
Not knowing how to casually date.
Goofy and well groomed with a killer smile,
I pegged you as my type across the room.
And there you were,
At a shared high top with a completely useless divider.
The thing you used as an excuse to talk to me,
That I had been messing with in hopes you would.
We took a selfie together as a joke,
After you photo-bombed the first one of course.
You didn't say goodbye when you left,
So I used every ounce of boldness in my body and texted you.
And after I teased you about leaving,
You came back.
I kept avoiding my own expectations,
I spent all night trying not to have any.
And somehow you surpassed every one,
Continuing to raise the bar.
Flash to the next day,
Me trying to convince myself you wouldn't respond if I texted you.
Trying to convince myself you wouldn't like me,
Like I convince myself about everyone else.
But instead I let you convince me that you just might,
And once again surpassed my expectations I was trying not to have.
You gave me a rush when you kissed me,
With every single touch.
I kept trying to find something to dislike about you,
So it wouldn't hurt no matter what happened.
All you did was please me repeatedly,
The perfect mess of tenderness and aggression.
Raising the bar higher all night,
Out of breath and out of my fucking mind.
Setting myself up to get hurt is kind of my thing,
Falling for people far too fast it's just what I do.
And after two heartbreaking events in the last month,
All I could think was how I didn't want to get hurt.
Yet you continued to surprise me,
And it just made me want you more.
This distress and unrest,
You're boggling my brain.
Intense sensations leading to such intense feelings,
As I sit here and try to ignore temptation.
I sent a tiny sort of heartfelt confession,
It's been tearing up my mind for the last nine hours as it sat unread.
And I just can't stop thinking about you,
All over me and under me and everything in between.
Raising the bar,
Surpassing expectations I was trying not to have.
All without trying,
Just effortlessly impressing me.
My life is so complicated and fucked up at the moment anyway,
And here I go throwing myself at someone new who makes me feel.
You're so hard to resist,
Without knowing anything at all you did everything right.
And as hard as I tried not to set any expectations,
I know exactly what I want.
