Get You The Moon

Chapter One

Halos maghapon lang akong nakatitig sa harapan ng laptop ko. Tinititigan ang mga kuha kong larawan.

Simula pa lang ito na lang talaga ang nagsilbing comfort zone ko. With these pictures, I wanted to feel and tell a story.

I distanced myself from everyone. Hindi dahil ayaw ko sa kanila kundi dahil ayokong mahirapan sila sa pag aadjust sa ugaling mayroon ako.

Panatag ang loob ko sa loob ng sariling mundong ginawa ko. 

Niligpit ko ang mga gamit ko. Tinanggal ko ang card reader na nakasaksak sa laptop ko at muling ibinalik ang memory card ng camera ko.

Sinukbit ko ang camera sa leeg ko at kinuha ang wallet ko at nilagay sa bulsa ng pantalon saka lumabas sa kwartong inuukupa ko.

Sumakay ako ng jeep. Mayamaya pa'y bumaba na rin ako sa pupuntahan ko.

Katulad pa rin ng dati, walang pinagbago ang lugar na ito sa paningin ko. Laging malungkot...nag papaalala na mag isa ako...

Inilapag ko ang dala dala kong puting rosas, saka umupo sa damuhan.

"Long time no see Dad," I smiled, Dad always tells me to smile.

"What's with the sad face?" Dad asked as he put his suit case on the countertop.

"Kuya did not allow me to come with them to the park." I complained , still sulking.

I played with my fingers, doing my best not to cry. As an eight-year-old, I wanted to appear tough and strong so that they would let me do things that my brothers could do.

You're still young, honey, you can't go there alone. Your mom's still at work, and I told Sonya not to let you out. "

"Why? Can't I play with other children?"

"You can, but not without me or mommy watching."

I maintained my long face, knowing that they wouldn't allow me.

"How about, let's go on a trip on your vacation?"

My mood suddenly  lit up. Who wouldn't want that?

"So now, give me a smile."

I showed him my sweetest smile before kissing him on the cheeks, my daddy would always be the best dad ever!!

"I'll tell you a story...I met this girl, in the library when I was in high school..." He started.

"That was Mom." I declared, the way he talks about Mom and their memories always makes Dad's eyes smile.

He laughed. "Yes, that's your Mom..."

"She was crying, I asked her why, and she said, she failed a quiz."

He stopped as if remembering that exact moment. My dad really fell hard for my mom.

"I remember telling her to always smile, even if she's sad, because someone might fall in love with your smile..."

"Who fell for Mommy then?"

"Silly, I fell hard, baby, Daddy did and still is."

I came back to reality. I lighted the candle, with the lighter I have.

"Sorry di ako nakakadalaw sa'yo it this past few days, masyado 'kong naging busy. I need to provide for myself, wala eh, matigas ang ulo ng anak mo."

Hindi ko mapigilan ang mapaluha habang patuloy pa rin na nakatitig sa puntod ni Daddy.

Why do I always end up crying in front of Dad? Maybe because I know he won't judge me. I know that he won't look at me like I'm weak.

"Bat kasi ang daya mo Dad, bakit kasi iniwan mo ko, akala ko walang iwanan, but why did you leave me? Why did you leave your partner alone?"

Patuloy pa rin ang pag agos ng luha ko. It's been a year but why it feels like it just happened yesterday?

Pinahid ko ang luha sa pisngi ko saka ngumiti.

"Look Dad, lagi kong dala yung regalo mo sakin. And as I promised, I take pictures everywhere I go. Ito na nga lang nagpapasaya sakin ngayon eh. This is the only thing that makes me sane.

"Sabi ni Nally, the pictures I took, they are all good, pero hindi Dad eh, may kulang." I heaved a sigh.

"Nakakatakot man pero Dad can you please be alive again and be my mentor? I miss you so so much partner."

Hindi ko alam kung ilang oras akong nanatili sa ganoong posisyon.

Umiiyak, tatawa, ngingiti, iiyak ulit. I told him everything in school, how I have Nally now, and that guy who turns out to be blind.

Para akong baliw kung titingnan pero wala eh, hindi ko mapigilan. Wala naman akong ibang mapagsasabihan.

"It's almost dark. Uuwi na ko Dad, may pasok pa ako bukas. I'll see you again soon. I love you partner."

Tumayo na ko at dun ko naramadaman ang pangangalay ng binti ko. Ganon ako katagal doon?

Napag desisyunan kong maglakad pauwi. I don't know why but I really love the night. I really feel that I belong in it.

Habang naglalakad I took some pictures of some estabalishments, couples dating, at yung ibang nagmamadali ng umuwi.

Abala ako sa pagkuha ng litrato sa isang park ng may makabangga sa akin.

Medyo napalakas ang tama namin sa isa't isa kaya pareho kaming natumba.

"Hindi ka ba marunong tumingin sa daan? Ang lawak lawak ng daan nabangga mo pa ko?" Inis na tanong ko sa kanya.

Nanatili siyang nakayuko at parang may hinahanap.

"I'm sorry, gabing gabi na high blood ka pa din miss,"  mahinang wika nito.

Patuloy pa rin siya sa pagkapa ng hinahanap niya. Di ba siya nakakakita? Ano bang hinahanap nito?

"Sino'ng hindi, ang lawak ng daan mister at  ano bang hinahanap mo? Bakit kapa ka ng kapa, ano ka bulag?"

"Yes, I am."

Nagulat ako sa sagot niya. Lumuhod ako at nilebel ang mukha ko sa mukha niya.

Tinitigan kong mabuti.

"Shit."

Nakita ko ang hinahanap niya. Yung blind stick niya.

Dali dali ko yung kinuha at iniabot sa kanya. I can't talk to him right now. Nakakahiya yung ginawa ko, di pa rin ako nakaka pag sorry.

Tatakbo na sana ko para makalayo sa kanya ng magsalita siya na nagpahinto sa balak kong pagtakas.

"It's you. 'Yong  umaway sa'kin sa school, nakakadalawa ka na ah."

I'm doomed.

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