I can't believe my feelings {Bakudeku]

//I'm really stupid//

(Izuku's POV)

I feel like shit. I have to see my crush go on a date with someone else and on top of that, I help him get together with someone else. what the am I thinking? I'm literally digging my own grave. 

I was in class just starring at kacchan's back. all I could think of was how much I want to touch his hair. wondering if it would hurt to touch his spike or if it is soft. I didn't realise that class was over and it was time for lunch. sho-chan asked me if I wanted to eat with him. I told him, yes and we both walked to the cafeteria. I choose katsudon while sho-chan picked out soba. we talked and ate together. until I spotted a to familiar spiky blond guy. he was talking to Kirishima and I could see the smile that kacchan had. he really must like Kirishima. 

I sighed and looked down on my plate. sho-chan noticed and asked me if I was ok. I didnt want to bug him with my problems all the time so I nodded and smiled at him. I quickly changed the subject and started asking sho-chan about how his training is doing, with controlling his left side. he told me he is controlling it well, but that he has problems using both his left and right side at the same time. 

we kept on talking until lunch was over. 

the day went by and without me knowing we were all back to our dorms. I walked up to kacchan's room and breath in and out before knocking on the door. 

I heard footsteps coming closer on the other side and I got nervous. until I saw kacchan standing there. he slid to the side so that I could walk in and I did.

"sorry for the intruding." I looked around and it was all so plain. but we could clearly see that this was kacchan's room. his room didn't even have one All Might posters. but kacchan isn't the one to show his fanboy side so. his room smelled like kacchan too. it felt nice. 

I sat on his chair a little awkwardly and waited for the tension in the room. 

deku: "so can I see the clothes you want to wear today?" he nodded and walked over to his dresser. he took out a hoodie and some sweat pants. I sighed and grabbed his stuff laying them in the bed. and shook my head. 

"you can't wear that on a date kacchan." he raised his eyebrows.

kacchan: "and why the fuck not?" 

deku: "listen kacchan you need to look nice. and a hoodie and sweat pants aren't going to do the job." he sighed before crossing his arms and look the other way. 

deku: "may I see what you got?" I pointed at the closet and kacchan nodded. 

I walked to his closet and I started looking around and trying to find something for kacchan to wear. 

I found a withe T-shirt and black ripped pants and a belt with withe snickers and a cap. I gave this to kacchan and told him to try it on. he looked at it and sighed. before I knew it kacchan was starting to strip right in front of me. my eyes widened and quickly turned red. 

"K-kacchan." I turned around and tried not to faint. 

kacchan: "what?"

deku: "you could have warned me." 

kacchan: "huh and why would I do that shitty nerd, we're both guys, what's the problem?" the problem is that I can't handle your damn abs and your hot body.

I heard kacchan changing and I did what every gay dude would do. I peeked. I looked at kacchan's back while he was changing. his back muscles and his ass. it was to perfect. I became red again and saw that kacchan turned around and saw me staring at him I quickly turned around. 

I heard him chuckle with his raspy and sexy voice. if this keeps up for too long I might end up getting a boner. please god, if you really are there don't let me go through this torture, you could just kill me already and get it over with. 

"you really like peeking at people while they are changing don't ya nerd." shit he saw me. 

deku: "n-no not at all. just wanted to check if you were done. and you weren't, so." nailed it. 

kacchan: "yea, yea. well, I'm done now." I turned around to my jaw-dropping. why am I so good to find him these clothes that make him look 1o time hotter. 

kacchan: "wow I must be so hot that I even made you speechless." he smirked at me and a hint of faint pink was seen on my cheek. 

deku: "you might be right about that, but-"

kacchan: "but what?" 

deku: "you might want to close the zipper before walking out." he looked down to see his zipper open. he turned around and zipped it. before turning to me again. 

kacchan: "now, am I ready to go now?" I walked closer and just fixed around. it was missing something but what. I kept on thinking until I spotted it. 

the letter jacket. perfect. 

I walked to it and grabbed it and made kacchan put it on. he did as I asked him to and now he was ready. pushed his shpulder back to make him look buffer. and fixes on the hair that we could see througt the cap. 

deku: "Im damn good to pick out outfits." kacchan rolled his eyes. before chucjle. 

kacchan: "yea I actully agree on that nerd." I looked up at him to be meet with crimson eyes. we stopped for a second and just looked at each other. 

deku: "I think you have to go now." kacchan didnt say anything he hummed while nodding. we kept on staring at each other's eyes. 

kacchan: "yea, looks like it." we both started walking out and I was gonna go the opposite way so I said goodbye to kacchan and walked away. 

"wait, deku. I-I...thank you. I mean it thanks for everything. if this goes well, it's all thanks to you."

deku: "mh...don't need to remind me. it's ok. what have we....friends for." I stopped for a second. before smiling again. 

deku: "well good luck." he nodded and walked away. when he was all gone I fell to the wall and slowly slid down until I was all down. 

"I'm really stupid."