I can't believe my feelings {Bakudeku]

//The Mess he made of Me//

(Katsuki's POV)

"kacchan, kacchan. I love you." my eyes shoot open. I was gasping after oxygen. I growled while pressing my face into my pillow. until I looked outside the window. starring out at the half-moon. 

"just a dream." "just a dream." *sigh*

"just a dream."

after finding out I have feelings for deku I can't get him out even more than before. I can't sleep, when I eat I always see them together or feeding each other like a married couple. or when I go for a walk I always end up seeing then getting back from 'their dates.' it's pretty annoying. it's making me want to smash my head on the wall then walk up the stairs too so jump down. I look at the clock to see the time. "3.AM. goddamit." I closed my phone and rolled to the other side of my bed.

I closed my eyes. and got ready to sleep.

"But when did I start liking him. was it after I got together with Kirishima or before. or was it when deku got together with Icy-hot. maybe in the middle of all of it."

"Should I tell someone I'm in love with deku?"

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"What is wrong with me!" I growled out. ok bakugo, you're going insane, you're just talking with yourself. and you're just gonna go to sleep and forget everything about this mess.

"Why do you not want to be with me?"

"I don't know, I'm with Kirishima, I'm happy with him." he was inches away, it's like I could feel his breath but I know this is a dream. I know this isn't real. this is just my subconsciousness playing with me.

"you know you love me."

"No, no I don't I-I'm just confused. it will be over soon."

"you sure about that?" 

"no"

"no?"

"it's complicated. I love...Kirishima. I want to be happy"

"be happy....be happy with me." I felt his lips touch mine.

I shoot my eyes open.I looked around. knowing I was in my room.I touched my lip.

"It felt so real."

I looked at the clock

"it's early but I can just go for a run." I stood up and walked to my closet to take out clothes for my run. I walked down the stairs knowing everyone was asleep.

I was ready to go outside when I saw

"deku." he was outside training. I walked out and didn't want him to see me. I ran over to the bushes to see him closer. cause I feel he may need help or something else. I heard him pant, he was doing 360° kicks. I can admit he has gotten better at it. see him keep kicking in the air made me mesmerized, makes me want to  watch him kick all day. I moved my leg to the side to get more comfortable. but I made a loud enough sound. enough for deku to react. he turned to the bushes.

"who's there?"

goddamit. should I stay still, no if he walks up here he will end up seeing me, yea well if I show him he will be confused about why I'm sneaking around the bushes, so early in the morning? ..forget it. I stood up.

"kacchan. what are you doing in the bushes." I looked around.

"um I- I was just. you know training." he looked at me more doubtful.

"in the bushes."

"well I-I was just. checking out something then I heard you calling someone in the bushes so I thought it was me you talked to."

"well, there isn't anyone else in the bushes."

"hehe. y-yes, yes." god I have no fucking idea what I'm doing now.

"so your training on your shot-style. how does that work out?"

"fine, I'm getting better." he looked away, not making eye contact.

"you need...any help." fuck, what am I saying.

"what are you doing?" I looked at him confused.

"w-what do you mean?"

"We can't be friends. remember. your the one who told me so."

"yes, um I was just checking if-if you had everything under control. since it's important to master the 'you know what'" using the secret I have with all might and deku to this. are you insane. how stupid can you be Katsuki?

"it's none of your concern. if you can excuse me I'll go back to train." yes, yes there is the cold shoulder. damn, he really knows how to be cold to someone.

"yea, of course. I'll leave now." I sighed and walked off. why are you sad. it's not like you didn't know this would happen if you tried talking to him. he only is like that cause you were a fucking idiot.

"but I-I.....miss his smile." 

Hehe. lol u thought something would happen. u silly silly friend. of course, it will take longer than that cause that's me. I'll make u suffer until the very dead end. 

o-oh shit. 

sorry I-I don't know what came over me. hehe, I just finished reading 'killing stalking' and I guess Sangwoo is still on my mind. hehe. well I hope u like the chapter if u feel like I'm fucking with ur mind then I have done my job good. 

Nah I'm just kidding. I promise soon. very soon. 😘😆

until next chapter my lovely puppy.