pain e.g.d

i can't hurt him

bailey

i walk up to his door and knock, "one sec" i hear a voice yell through the house.

ethan opens the door while pulling a shirt over his figure and a sweaty forehead that has a thin headband on it.

"bailey? what are you doing here?" he asks out of breath. "we need to talk" i say quietly.

he nods and let's me into his house. the memories of the party flooding back, "your house is nice" i compliment looking at all the lights in his dining room.

"thanks" he says leading me towards his room. i stop at the bottom of the stairs, hesitant to go up.

he looks down at me and realization covers his face. he comes back down and puts his hand on my lower back, "you're okay, i promise" he looks down at me and nudges his head towards the top.

i smile softly and walk up the stairs. i see a hallway leading into different rooms.

he passes the first room and walks into
the second one. i slowly follow behind him as the door to the first door opens. grayson emerges from the darkness of his room.

we make eye contact as he almost runs over me. he takes out one of his airpods, "bailey? what are you doing here?" he asks confused.

"i needed to talk to your brother" i say as i bit my lip shyly. he just looks at me and ethan pokes his head out of his room wondering where i was.

once he sees grayson, he steps out fully. grayson looks between us and gives me a look, "does grant know you're here?" he asks suspiciously.

i gulp and look back to grayson, "n-no, but it's not like that" he just shrugs and walks down stairs while he puts his airpod back into his ear.

i huff and follow ethan back into his room. he closes the door and sits on his bed.

i stand there admiring his room. i look at all of his wrestling awards, pictures, and drum set.

he pats the spot next to him and i walk over to it.

it was silent for a while until he speaks up, "so" he starts. i huff and keep my head down.

his body turns towards mine, making my body go stiff. "since when?" he asks, i stay quiet for a minute. "forever, i guess but i just recently started to use them"

he just nods and takes his head band off and runs his hand through his hair. "you weren't supposed to find out like this" i scoff and mutter "or find out at all"

he keeps his posture sluggish and exhausted. "are you scared of me?" i ask softly. he chuckles under his breathe "i mean kind of. this isn't normal" he turns his head to face me and looks me up and down quickly "you're not normal, bailey"

"you don't think i know that? i will never be normal a-and it kills me everyday" i look down as my eyes well up with tears. "i'm never gonna be popular, o-or reliable. i can break at any moment!" i sob.
————
ethan

her shoulders drop and her teeth clench. "i'm not gonna be okay, ethan. ever. and it sucks feeling this way everyday." i look behind her to see my trophies and drum stick rise from their original position.

my eyes raise and look back at bailey, who's head is in her hands. "you need to calm down" i say softly. her head snaps at me and she laughs. "'calm down? how? i'm not like you ethan. i'm the exact opposite, actually. i'm a mess, a wreck, or whatever adjective you wanna use for fucked." my eyes switch from her to the wall behind her which has floating objects lifting.

she follows my eyes and sees what she's done. once she looks back at me the objects drop. she looks at her hands. "i'm a m-monster"

i go in to touch her but she flinches away. "i cant hurt you, ethan. i cant hurt anyone but me. i just can't" i furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

she sighs, "i take away people's pain." she says dryly. "whatever mental pain they're dealing with, i have the chance to take it away. and i do. no matter how bad it hurts me." she looks at me defeated. "and now that i'm becoming more powerful. i can't risk hurting you, ethan" she goes to put her hand on my cheek but slowly takes it away.

we make eye contact and i whisper, "i'm not going anywhere, bailey. maybe i'm a little afraid right now, but everything'll be fine"

i reach my hand across and put it on her cheek. she closes her eyes and a tear falls out. "i don't want to hurt you" she says in a breathing voice.

"you won't" i say confidently. everything goes quiet for a moment and i slowly lean it.

our lips touch and a spark ignites. she pulls back and touches her tingling lips. she slowly looks up at me, her eyes switching from my eyes to my lips.

"i'm sorry. i-i just thought-" i begin to say before she pushes herself towards me and the spark lights up again. she cups my cheeks in her hands as my hands roam down her body.

my hands stop at her waist and slowly move her onto my lap. she straddles me, our lips never breaking. her fingers tug at the bottom of my shirt but i pull back.

"i cant" i say, "not when you're vulnerable. we have time" i finish. she gets off my lap and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear, "i'm really sorry," she says, "but you can't know. at least not right now. the time isn't right. please forgive me" she whimpers.

i go to question her but everything becomes blurry. "bailey, w-what did you do" i groan as i grab my head. she tries to walk closer but i put my hand up, blocking her.

"just lay down, ethan. it'll be over soon" she whispers. i lay my head down in my pillow and everything goes black but not before i hear her last words, "i'm sorry"

and with that, it all goes black.

v & c

-J