Starr

An Unknowing Home

The old stars on the ceiling glow less in the mornings. Kieran hates that. Well, he hates lots of things, but doesn't everyone? He just wishes he could wake up in the morning and look up, seeing the beautiful stars that he admired so much in his childhood.

Kieran turns his head on his stiff pillow to look at the alarm clock. Before he can even process in his mind that he has less than a minute to sleep until it's time to get ready, the blaring alarm strikes its unpleasant sound into Kieran's ear. He groans and pushes the alarm off button. 

Tossing his sheets aside, Kieran sits on the edge of his bed wearing nothing but his underwear. He picks up the breakfast granola bar he left on his desk and looks at it with grief. He wishes he could eat like a normal person; and he tries, but there's no use. Whenever Kieran eats, it just won't stay down.

Kieran pulls back the wrapper with his black-painted fingernails and raises it to his mouth. He takes in one little portion of it, and he suddenly feels like vomiting. He quickly takes his mouth off of the granola bar and sets it down. 

He knows he should be taking his medicine with food, but he can go without food. According to Kieran's mom, he can't afford to take a day away from what the doctor prescribed; but he hates his meds. He's been taking them ever since his father was killed.

He looks at the little orange container and picks it up with his rough hands. Looking at his name on the label, he thinks to himself, Today's the day. Say goodbye. See Dad again.

Kieran doesn't bother taking a pill this morning, it's not like it'll matter when all of this is over. Right now, he's just taking one last day to say goodbye.

Kieran looks around at all of the posters he has on his wall as he pulls on his black jeans. Every band that inspired him, every movie that influenced him, and every video game that distracted him from everything. 

His guitar was always there for him. So was his piano and his drums, but, unfortunately, instruments aren't people. Kieran runs his hand through his hair, which is as black as the night. The crazy thing is, he hasn't died it a day in his life. Neither have his younger siblings, but they all have black hair; and it compliments their beautiful blue eyes. Kieran throws on a black sweatshirt and heads out of his room and grabs his keys, which shouldn't have still been there. 

"Maxene," Kieran calls out as he enters the kitchen. "You didn't warm my car up. You're supposed to every day."

"Jeez, sorry," Kieran's younger sister said in a sarcastic tone. "It's not like you can do it your damn self, I just have to do it every morning for whatever reason" Maxene says, grabbing Kieran's keys from his hands.

"You're lucky I'm driving you to school at all. I don't have to do that, y'know." Kieran says, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, yeah? Take that up with Mom." Maxene walks to the door and pauses as she turns the doorknob. "But not right now, she's sleeping right now after pulling an almost all-nighter paying for those pills you keep throwing up, so she'll be extra mad at you if you wake her up." She pulls the door open and walks out; the snobbish smirk she shot her brother taunting Kieran's nerves. 

Kieran looks down at the ground, wondering if Maxene will even care when Kieran kills himself. He's sure she will, but it's hard to tell with her. He loves her, but Maxene acts like she hates him.

"You okay, Kier?" Asks the sweet voice of Kieran's little brother from behind. 

"Oh, Charlie, yeah, I'm fine." Kieran stumbled, searching for the right words to tell his favorite sibling on his last day on Earth. 

Charlie hauls his bulky book bag over his shoulders as it is drooping down his back. He looks up at his big brother with his sparkly eyes, sort of like Kieran's, but Charlie's eyes have so much more light inside of them. Unfortunately, Kieran lost the light in his eyes long ago when his father past away; and he was starting to think Maxene has lost hers, too. 

"You ready to go, buddy?" Kieran asks with a half-smile, putting his hand on Charlie's shoulder. When his little brother nods, Kieran gets such a feeling of heartache and confliction; and Charlie just innocently admires his company, not suspecting a thing. Kieran wouldn't tell his baby brother that he's suicidal. Sure, he knows about his meds, but not that it got this bad. 

Charlie and Kieran both walk out to the car, where Maxene was bound to be sitting in the passenger seat, steaming because of how long her two brothers were taking. Kieran was very excited for that.