To You, Who Left Me Behind

Part 4

So dad is not here when I get up for school so I'll just have Mige give us that ride. I let him know as we wait at the bus stop.

"Your Pops said no?" he asks, eyebrow raised.

"I didn't get to ask him," I shrug. "He worked late last night and I don't think he even came home."

"He do that a lot? Not come home?"

I shrug again. "Gotta make money somehow. Mom's not working."

"She still hasn't gone back? How long's it been?"

"It's been awhile," I say defensively. "It's just hard, that's all."

"My mom went back to work a month ago. Said it would get her mind off things. That's how I heard your mom hadn't gone back. Is everything okay?"

"Why do you care?" I snap. "My mom's not your mom, she's dealing with things in her own way. Not much we can do about it."

Mige looks concerned. "If things aren't so great at home, maybe you should talk to someone. Get help. Your mom moping around can't be good for anyone."

"Gee, thanks, Doc," I say sarcastically. "But we're doing just fine, we don't need any help."

I'm angry and I'm scared so I'm defensive. I want to talk, to speak up but then letting it all spill out means that there's a problem and I don't want to admit that. I don't want to admit things suck and I feel like if I say it out loud, it'll just make things worse. That saying it makes it real or worse, permanent. That it'll never get better. It's easier to just pretend there's no problem. Fake it 'til you make it and all that.

Mige's eyebrows come down and he looks a little angry. "Just saying, Teague. You shouldn't have to deal with shit alone. Ain't nobody going to judge you for needing help."

"Except they do," I say bitterly remembering that conversation in the hall.

Mige shrugs. "Just cuz our moms couldn't get along, doesn't mean we can't. They can't tell us we can't be friends after everything that went down."

My lips pull down as I look up at him. It would be so easy to talk, to let the dam break. For a brief second again, I want to spill my heart out. I want to cry a river, the Nile, the Amazon, the Mississippi, anything to let it all go. But if I start, I'm genuinely scared that I'll never stop.

Mige looks at me with a confused expression on his face. His hand reaches up but just before I think it's going to touch my face, the bus pulls up. I quickly turn away and climb on as soon as the doors open. I managed to compose myself by the time we reach the school. I ignore Mige and head to the assembly room to meet up with Cori. Surprisingly, Ethan's there chatting quietly with her. He must really like her. I take the seat in the row above them and plop down. We greet each other and get down to business.

"My parents agreed to let me go," Cori tells me. "Well, my grandmother managed to convince them, especially after hearing there were going to be more girls there. They're a little old-fashioned that way." She nervously tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Cody's giving me ride since we live close to each other," Ethan says. "So we'll meet you there after we pick up his girl."

I nod. "Mige's giving us a ride. He'll come pick me up and then we'll swing by and come get you, Cori. I'll text you when we're on our way." We exchange numbers just as the first bell rings. Walking to my first hour, I realize I don't have Mige's number.