Save me from Suffocation

Ch.6

*Bon's pov*

They rush Rin to the Academy Hospital ER and Yukio and I are forced to sit in the waiting room as they disinfect and stitch his wounds. I think the doctors also mentioned he would need blood donated to stay alive.  

I hope he'll be alright. 

The doctors said he had a 70% chance of survival so I am hopeful. 

Yukio is on the phone with the others, who are coming over now, and I grip the suicide note tightly in my hands.

I'm going to read it.

I feel tears prick at my eyes as I read it, taking a sharp breath when I see he addressed me a special part. 

Pity?

How could he think I was pitying him?

This is horrible. He truly believes he deserved all that pain and even death. How did we not notice how he was feeling before?

That fake smile.

I had asked him what was wrong, I knew something was wrong! 

Maybe if I had asked one more time, pushed, just a little harder, he would have broke.

This partly my fault. Our classmates' fault. Yukio's fault. 

Did Yukio really act that negatively towards him?

*flashback*

Yukio sighs, "I knew something like this would happen. Rin doesn't ever listen to anything  I tell him! This wouldn't have happened and ruined the mission if he has listened and protected his seal better." 

*flashback ends*

Come to think of it, Yukio is always acting disappointed and yelling at him around us. Does that mean he says worse things when he's not around us?

I turn towards Yukio who looks pretty horrible. I give him the suicide note angrily and narrow my eyes, "Read this and tell me that this isn't partly your fault!"

His eyes widen and he grabs it, hands shaking slightly. 

As he reads it, more tears run down his face and he turns towards me with a horrified expression, "I can't tell you that. It is my fault, Suguro! I didn't want to come across as mean or hateful, but he's never paying attention or he's always sleeping! Something always happens at missions with him and I'm always left to take care of it!" His face turns to one of anger as he rants.

I scowl at him, "Have you ever thought about why he can't pay attention or falls asleep!? Have you ever thought there might be a reason behind why he gets hurt on missions? Have you ever asked him what's wrong, instead of just assuming things!?"

He looks down shaking his head.

I poke my finger at his chest, "Your big brother just tried to commit suicide because he felt alone and unwanted, a burden to everyone around him, using your weapons! He obviously thought you hated him and wanted him dead, so before you go in there, you better think long and hard about why he felt that way, and how you're going to apologize!"

I turn harshly and take a deep breath. The nurse comes out and says he can have a few visitors, but probably won't wake up for a while.

I go back there, leaving Yukio to think about what I said and deal with others as they start to come in. 

I open the door gently and almost cry at the sight of him. He's very pale, but his heart monitor is at a steady beat, an IV hooked to his arm. Bandages cover both of his wrists and for the first time, I notice how skinny he's gotten the past few days.