Don't Run

He will know

She had ended up wasting a whole day thinking about what Shiv Shah had said. She was feared.

Not the best kind of reputation to have but she liked it. From personal experience she knew that fear was a powerful motivator.

But the cruel irony of the world was paper wasn't afraid of her.

She had looked through the photos and the pages upon pages of information she had gathered about Fairy a hundred times and while there were some point that may have made her a target, Hayley doubted it.

She went through the poem again.

"Global connection, check," she said looking at the blinking cursor and her blog post page. She realized she couldn't just out right say the motive, but if this guy had her as the mark then he knew that and would know the next post was meant for him alone.

"Nobel intentions," she repeated it again and again, "Nobel intentions," she let out a breath, "Look dude I know you think yourself a messiah figure but what the hell does that mean?" she asked the page. When it didn't reply, she groaned.

"Look here is all the information I have on her," she turned to the book where she had noted everything down, "not a good friend, though I think that might just be my opinion. Average intelligence. She failed three subjects in the first semester after which she started to get better. She is tall. Rude. Extroverted. Loves dancing. Has dated never. About half my class wants her, I think, most likely more. She is fair. Pretty. Has good but thinning hair." At this point she was simply running out of things to say about her. "Has friends," she clicked on her Instagram tab, "is meticulous about photos," they weren't exceptional but Hayley had been friends with her so she knew how much she loved taking picture. Any group photo would be arranged by her, "everything should be in harmony," she would say.

She was smiling in every single picture. Hayley wondered how people did that, smile like that. Open, welcoming. As if they don't think about the constant ticking of the clock and movement of time and the lack of true free will in the world and how even though everyone knows they are going to die someday, they still spend their time hating people. And there is no real reality only your perception of it.

She banged her head against the table, willing herself to stop thinking. She felt her mind rest for a second before the next thought came. She groaned, "Why can't I just do what she did and move on?" she said pointing to the picture of Fairy she had scrolled to, cross at herself for breaking her rule to stop thinking about her having a constant crisis. She figured denial was better than numbness.

It was a large group shoot of all her friends, "present company excluded," Mahi stood right next to her, leaning in as they made a row. For some reason she noticed that the people standing closest to her were fair skinned. At first she thought it was nothing, until she scrolled through more pictures. It was true for each and every one of them.

"Holy shit," she paused in silence, unable to move after having her epiphany, allowing herself to wash in endorphins as long as they lasted. "It can't be – but it could – but it can't – why not?" something inside her was clicking into place and she could feel it. She didn't know how but she knew she was right. "Won't be the first time."

She grabbed her laptop greedily. Her fingers rested on the keyboard, "What do I call you?" she asked the blank page.

"Should I do something about beauty? This is about racism or at least colorism, what's new?" groaning she tapped her fingers on the keyboard mocking typing, "Oh, I know." She started typing.

Half an hour later she was ready with a 1000 word draft. The words had just flown.

She decided she'd better read her notes aloud once more, just in case.

Her eyes kept going back to how Fairy had managed to go from failing three subjects to getting 8.0's, "maybe there is something else there?" she murmured.

Hayley knew her college to have an unspoken reputation of fixing exams, maybe that was it, she thought.

She added a cleverly worded line about cheating in her post and clicked Post. 

He will know.