The Queen of Narnia

Before

~Elsewhere~

   Susan Pevensie was torn.

   As she walked beside Aslan in the halls of the Castle of Caspian, she debated between her options, understanding that she may not even have any. While she and her older brother Peter strode next to the true king of Narnia, her mind battled itself. To stay in Narnia, though she may not have a chance, or to follow her siblings and leave the world behind forever. When Aslan had told the oldest of the four siblings that they would never be able to return, Susan felt sick to her stomach and the feeling hadn't passed.

   Whatever Aslan and Peter were talking about, Susan wasn't paying attention. As they walked into the open quad of the castle, the sunlight momentarily blinded her before her eyes adjusted and landed on a person across the quad, making her heart ache.

   Caspian X, the prince who became king just a few short days ago, had stopped mid-step, his gaze darting from Peter, to Aslan, to finally stay on Susan. She wanted to somehow tell him that she didn't want to leave, to relieve the worry in his eyes as they met hers, but she couldn't. Not with the conflict already inside her mind. She knew he wouldn't be able to help. As much as Susan knew he would try, she couldn't burden him like that.

   "Your Majesty," Aslan said, tone neutral as he called out to Caspian, breaking the silence.

   Still, Caspian's gaze remained on Susan for a second longer before he replied. "We are ready. Everyone has assembled."

   That made Susan look back at the true king of Narnia beside her, the lion's eyes strong as he nodded to Caspian. Without glancing at him, she sensed Caspian leave, allowing the trio to keep walking. Aslan and Peter began speaking again, but Susan was hardly paying attention.

   "Susan," Aslan's voice snapped her out of her thoughts and she glanced down at the lion beside her. "I can sense your unease."

   Peter gave her a questioning look, putting his own sadness aside. He loved Narnia just as much as Susan did, loved the rush of the adventure, but Susan could tell that he had already accepted the fact that they wouldn't be coming back. Somehow, Susan couldn't do the same.

   "Peter, give me a moment with your sister," Aslan's tone was kind but unwavering.

   "Su?" He asked.

   She nodded. "Maybe see what Lucy and Edmund are up to? See if they're ready?"

   He smiled at that, but his eyes didn't lose their question. Susan glanced away, and Peter hesitated a moment before slipping away.

   "What is troubling you, Susan?" Aslan asked as they continued to walk.

   He probably already knows, she thought, but replied anyways. "I don't know if I can leave, Aslan, and know that I can never come back. In England... I still haven't found my place but here, here I know I can be so much more." She looked away. "What is left for me there?"

   "If you stay, you will be separated from your siblings," he said plainly, not trying to convince her or to deter her, just to state the facts. "And the rest of your family as well."

   Susan took a shaky breath. "I know. But what good will I be to them if I'm miserable. After we returned the first time, I hated it. I couldn't just move on, not like the others. They all tried and they just needed a little push, which they got this time. But I- I don't know if I can go back." She sighed. "But I don't want to leave them behind."

   They fell silent, Susan's nerves increasing as every second ticked by. Finally, the lion spoke.

   "I anticipated as much, which is I believe it is time to reveal a prophecy foretold long ago. I have already spoken to Peter about it earlier, and now it is time for you to know what lies ahead."