Beautiful Disaster. [Punk Liam Story]

43. Spaces

To say that I feel completely helpless would be an understatement. What I feel at the moment is beyond words.

Liam hasn't spoken to me since we texted Monday night, and I'm starting to worry. I thought Liam and I had been growing strong, past all these secrets but I guess not.

It's Wednesday afternoon now and apparently no one has seen or heard of Liam. I had even gone up to Harry to get some answers but no such luck. Harry had told me that the last time he saw him was Tuesday morning and after that nothing.

I left school once again frustrated. Liam has become all I think about and now it's affecting me. I even started to consider if I should start going to therapy. It's not a bad idea really considering the fact that I grew so attached to Liam so fast. Maybe a professional can help me evaluate a bit more.

Walking the steps up to my porch I notice that the front door is open, I slowly walk in taking in the surroundings when I see her. I immediately drop my things and wrap my arms around Carmen. It's been a long time since I last saw her. I had almost believed she quit without saying good-bye. "Carmen! It's been a while! I thought you would never return." I keep hugging her feeling like she might leave again if I let her go.

"Oh my! Lesly! Como estas!? Yes it has been a while sorry." Carmen keeps her hold around me for a bit longer before she released me.

I take her appearance as I take a few steps back. She looks much older now as I look at her. "What happened? I thought you were just gonna be gone for a few weeks not two months!" I almost yelled.

Carmen gave me an apologetic smile. "Sorry Lesly just that so much has happened! And it's all a long story!" She exclaims happily.

I lead her to the living room and we both take a seat on the sofa. "I have time." I tell her with an eager smile.

Carmen takes my hand in hers and begins her story. "We'll por comenzó I met someone. He's such a wonderful man Lesly you wouldn't believe it! His name is Samuel!" I could tell by the way Carmen pronounced his name that she is head over heels for this man.

I smile deeply in response. "Carmen I'm so happy for you!"

"I'm glad you are Lesly. In fact I would love for you to meet him." She tells me happily, while she gently squeezed my left hand. "He's coming down from Seattle in about a week."

"Seattle?" I asked a bit confused. "Didn't you meet him in Jalisco?"

She nods, "Yes, but he was there on business. We had crashed into each other while he was in a run and I was walking. It was my fault really I had my eyes on the ground and didn't see him coming." She smiles, remembering that evening. After a moment she turned her attention back to me, "So tell me Lesly are there any boys in your life yet?"

I give her a reluctant smile, "Only if you knew Carmen!" I sigh. "My life has been sucked into some sort of orbit that revolves around this frustrating man!" I complain. Frustrating? That's not the right word for him. More like skull splitting. My subconscious snides.

"I have time." Carmen says and I laugh.

"Well..." I begin to tell her mine and Liam's history, of how everything came to be. I also told her that none of my family know about him. She was surprised to hear about that since I'm pretty close to everyone especially Carlos. Maybe if they hadn't been so judgmental from the beginning they would know about him.

About forty minuets have passed and I have come full circle in my story. Carmen doesn't seem all to shocked, which I'm grateful for. I didn't need her to judge Liam either. "So why aren't you guys speaking?" She asked.

That's the million dollar question that even I still don't know the answer to. "I really have no clue. I thought we had moved passed all these secrets. That we were finally gonna talk about everything, but we move one step forward and five steps back." I complain breathlessly.

She places a hand on my shoulder in an uplifting manner. "Lesly don't give up on him. Men don't always make sense." She smiles. "For example me and Samuel had a lot of problems do to his work area. He wants me to move to Seattle Lesly, and I will."

I smile sadly at Carmen. I knew when she told me she was engaged that she would be leaving but I don't want to lose another person I care about. "You're moving to Seattle? I'm happy for you really Carmen, but I will miss you terribly." I pull her into a tight hug, not wanting to let her go.

We pull away from each other and smile but before either one of us can say another word we hear the door open. Carmen and I both look in the direction of the door expecting my parents or even Carlos but instead we saw Liam.

Carmen looks over at me wide eyed and I smile shyly back at her. Liam just kept his gaze on me, begging me to speak with him. Carmen cought the look in Liam's eyes and stood up. "I'll leave you two alone. I have to start packing. I'll see you in a bit Lesly." With one last reassuring smile she walked away.

I stood up from my seat on the sofa and took in Liam's appearance. He looks as if he hasn't slept in almost over three days, he's sporting a four o'clock shadow, and he looks absolutely miserable. "I'm sorry that I just walked in like that uninvited or unannounced, but I need to see you Lesly." Liam spoke softly. My eyes roam his attire and I notice that they're exactly the same clothes he had worn to school Monday. So he hasn't gone home. These past two days he had gone out without a word.

Crossing my arms across my chest I ask him for his whereabouts for the last few days. "Lesly... You just have to trust me okay. I can't tell you what's going on but as soon as I can I will tell you everything. Please just believe that what's happening is for the best." He says, inching closer to me.

I step back, knowing that if he got too close I would lose my battle. "No Liam. What is happening is not for the best! Don't you see that!" I yell frustrated, "Liam, I can't live with secrets anymore. I want to trust you but this isn't the way how."

"Lesly please-"

"Liam either tell me what's going on or walk out that door now. I don't need all this baggage and secrets you come with. All I want is for you to trust me."

I physically see the war playing out in Liam's head. I hate that our relationship has come to this point but it's for the best; he has to understand that he can trust me and that if he can't our relationship has no point what-so-ever.

Liam nods in understatement and my hope skyrockets. "One day you'll understand but today is not that day." He says before walking out of my door, leaving me feeling more worthless then ever.

But like I had said before, this was for the best. Liam made his choice and I have to respect that no matter the cost.

This is the end of our story. Now nothing matters. All that there is left to do is forget. But I know I will never forget Liam Payne.

End Of Book 1

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Okay so this was completely unexpected even to me!! I didn't think I would be ending it here but Yeah this is the end!! Liam walked away!

I know there is still a lot of unresolved things but don't worry I'm already planning the sequel and it's title is *drum roll please* "Beautiful Weakness" and it'll probably be out next weekend so please check it out.

And I love you all.

~aclfuentes