Warriors

Chapter Twenty: In My Head

I'm stuck in a dream. No, not stuck. Trapped. I'm on the field with Onyx, his pack is behind him, and mine is behind me. Fergus is off to the side, screaming, and my dad is next to him, but he won't look. Onyx snarls, and I focus on him; he comes charges at me, and I freeze up. He rams into me hard and locks his teeth onto my throat and...

I'm back on the field with Onyx. His pack is behind him, and mine is behind me. It's an endless loop, and it feels like I've been here for decades. I miss Fergus and Shadow. I miss Grimes, and even if I don't want to admit it, I miss the calming effect of Wolfsbane. I start screaming, but all I do is end up howling.

"I want out! Let me the fuck out!"

Onyx lunges for me again, and I'm right back at the beginning. I've tried everything; I attacked Onyx first, every member of our packs, then Doc, my dad, and even Fergus. No matter what, I can't escape.

"What the hell do you want from me, Onyx?! What does this mean? I don't fucking understand!"

He snarls, as usual, his eyes cold and filled with hate.

"Oh, for Christ's sake!"

"Mallory, focus!"

"Shut the fuck up, Fergus. It's the same thing every damn time! Believe it or not, I'm fucking focused!"

I look at my dad, refusing to look, and flip out. Analyzing everything and everyone over and over, I don't think they like me. They're pretending, every single one of them, but why? This has happened millions of times, and I've had enough.

"Just fucking look, Mason! You left for ten years and wanted me to die instead of mom. Why the fuck do you give a shit about what happens to me now?!"

I step towards him just as Onyx lunges for me, and he plows right into my side. He's never hit me here, only my throat, and it feels like I was struck by a train. I get up, shake out my fur, look around, freeze, and shift back in fear. I'm not in the field anymore, but I wish I were. Everything is pitch black; I can't see anything but eternal darkness. It's way too quiet. I'm the only one or thing in this black void.

"No! I can't stay here, help me! Fergus, please help me!"

It feels like Onyx has plowed into me again, and I fall onto my back, screaming in pain.

"What happening?! I can't see or hear, and I'm scared! I'm so scared. Help me!"

Another hit to my side, and my eyes are pouring tears. I brace myself for another blow, but it doesn't come. Instead, I start to hear a low murmur. I strain to hear, and it gets louder. It's Fergus' voice.

"We can't give up, Doc. It's Mallory."

"Son, I have done everything that I can do. I've kept her stable for a week, but she isn't getting better. Her heart just gave out, Fergus. I might've managed to stabilize her again, but her heart is having problems. That could be a sign that it's time. The next time something fails, I don't know if I'll be able to save her."

A week? No way that nightmare was only a week. I try to talk, but my throat feels like it's clogged.

"Do it again. Please. One more time."

"I just got her stable, and you want me to do it again?"

"I have a gut feeling."

"Is it worth it, dude? That's my Alpha. I mean, if this hurts her, then she could die sooner. Are you alright with that?"

"She would want me to."

Doc sighs, and he sounds so tired.

"Alright, but if this does nothing, then that's it. There's nothing I can do."