Prologue - How It Started
My small feet ran down the dark street as soft pants came from my parted lips. I squinted my hazel eyes at the group of boys that seemed to be around my age and quickly ran on the side of the building. Every Friday after school, I came here and watched them spit rhymes back and forth. In the hood of Harlem, we had to keep ourselves entertained when mommy and daddy were working. After school all the kids came to the basketball court. It was the place to be.
We weren't supposed to be here. Seven through twelve year olds, hanging out, with no guardians around? It was bound to be trouble. I even remember last Friday, a shootout happened. But that ain't scare me, I was used to it.
Hearing his sweet voice, I broke out of my thoughts and peeked my head out. I didn't want them to catch me staring.
This is my hood I'ma rep, to the death of it
'til everybody come home, little niggaz is grown
Hoodrats, don't abortion your womb, we need more warriors soon...
Nasir Jones. He was the boy I had been in love with for a few years now. Sometimes I wished he noticed me and other times I was glad he didn't. He was already getting into the dealing business and I didn't want to be involved with that.
One day I was going to grow up and be an actress. I'm going to be on the big screen, up there with Vivica Fox, Blair Underwood, and Viola Davis. My mother always tells me it's silly and I'm too shy to do it but I think I could. She said I should do something like be a teacher. It's easy and quick.
I shook my head at the thought as I leaned my skinny body against the building. Doesn't she know it hurts me every time she says that? Angrily, I balled my small fist up. The only thing she cared about was her two jobs. I didn't matter... we didn't matter. My big sister Hazel, made sure to push me into believing in my dream.
Dream.
Such a small word but had a very powerful meaning behind it. It still wasn't big enough for me, every time someone said dream I would cringe. My dream isn't a dream because no matter what, it will become reality.
"Laila!" My older sister by four years yelled, running to me as her big breasts jiggled in her too small shirt. Immediately I knew by her yelling, that they had spotted me. I nervously begin to smooth down my hair and stepped from the side of the building. Keeping my vision trained on my sister as she reached me.
Oh well. Isn't like they knew I was spying on them... well Nasir.
I bit into my lower-lip and stuffed my small hands in the pocket of my overalls. "Yes Hazel?" Rolling her eyes that we both inherited from momma, she exhaled deeply placing her hands on her thick hips.
"The least you could do was let me know you was going to be out here after school. You know how long I've been looking for your ass? Damn Laila!" She yelled as a frown fell upon her face. "You know they was shooting up here like they was crazy not even last week. I swear—"
Instantly I cut her off mid-sentence, "Hazel I was just checking here. Uh..." I tried to think of a lie and fast. I didn't want her to know I had a crush on Nasir. It's embarrassing.
"Because what?" She smirked, "You were spying on Nas?"
Shaking my head furiously, I glared at her. The small snickers I was hearing around me didn't help with the embarrassment and humiliation I felt. As quick as a light switch my eyes became glassy. Hazel saw them and stopped smirking, her eyebrows scrunching together in concern.
I really didn't want to cry in front of them. So I began running until I couldn't hear Hazel yelling after me or the laughter.
Maybe momma would let me stay home for school tomorrow. I really don't want to face everyone teasing me.
