wine, cigarettes, and angst

conversation

"I just choose to feed the wolf I always knew," Maya said, withholding her sigh to avoid making any sounds.

"The hell are you talking about?" Quinn's tone was affirmative, yet dismissive. She was sitting on the other side of the couch, with her head leaning against the back pillow.

"You know the story about the two wolves?" Maya regretted starting this conversation with every inch of her body and hoped to switch the topic.

"Yeah, but you are not making sense." Quinn straightened her body and slightly bit the inside of her left cheek, this way she restrained herself during an argument. "The two wolves? Really?" She knew perfectly well where her friend was going with this, but wanted her to say it. "This doesn't even make sense. You are not making any sense."

"Because I don't know, okay." Maya stood up from the sofa and started to pace around the room. "I mean, I always knew who I was, who I am, who I want to be in the future." She stopped near the window and looked outside. A single lantern illuminated the entire street. "I have goals, plans, pictures in my head that I want to see in real life and I wouldn't be able to if.. well, if things get complicated." She tried to focus her attention on the lantern, absorbing its light.

"Things are already complicated. They got complicated when you said you can see us together in the future. Where did those pictures go?" Quinn's voice produced an invisible sound vibration that spread across the room, as if the air she breathed formed a tight string around her mouth and released the tension directly into Maya's head. "You are literally contradicting yourself," she continued. The light bulb burst and Maya turned around to face her friend.

"I don't know what you want to hear from me," she said , giving her friend a pleading look...