deluge

paint

only can i paint
when your skin is the canvas
it welcomes the ambiguous shapes that i etch into it
and writhes under my touch
never could your skin achieve mundanity
just look at its tangible colors, its rainbows of love
i will cherish it forever and hold it in my hands as though it's a child
as i lay in bed
paint resting atop my mountainous kneecaps
and washing over my nail beds like rivers
heart sunken
sharp tongue wrapped around a lime popsicle, enticing the green ice til i can slice it in two
i yearn for your skin
against mine
warming me as a i lie wrapped in my frigid thoughts
save me from myself
my veins treat my own blood as contraband
momentarily i will perish under sleep's grasp
but for now i cling to consciousness
and turn off the lights so i cannot see monsters
(but mostly so i cannot see myself)
i move my legs so they are not touching
for i cannot stand to feel myself
and i stack the pillows below my head
and place my heart underneath
thump, thump
my head bobs up and down, eternally synced with my heartbeat