Fever Future

Chapter 3 Measures

Just sitting in a room, then walking around the house and sitting down in another room. To then escape to the outside world, the forest. Now we're still able to. We're making a new pattern of live, just to not immediately drive ourselves insane. It's hard, really. Being here, but also feeling like you're not.  Taehyung has locked himself in his room, only gets out to go to JHR to see if one of his newfound code keys match. Yoongi can't get himself to get in to JHR, it's like there's a invisible wall right behind or maybe in front of the door. 

Looking out of the window in his room, he closed his eyes while the sun hit his skin. Finally able to enjoy something, even being as small as the warmth from the sun through the window. Everyday is the same, everyone starts to feel lazy and everyday it gets harder to get out of bed. To know all things you could and now know what you can't do, forcing yourself to be creative. Just to keep yourself and others going, to not feel like vanishing cause going outside is dangerous. The tension grows when they're all together, cause they all know that they know it won't do them good if there comes a lockdown. Yoongi's eating disorder is only getting worse and he knows that the anxiety won't leave him alone, especially if the measures get heavier.

Even so he knows he has to be thankful that he doesn't live alone and that Namjoon, Jin, Hoseok, Jimin and Taehyung always care about him. Every day the topic on the internet is the same: 'The Coronavirus'. Yoongi choose to not listen to the news anymore, besides if he really needed to know something the others would inform him anyway.

Out of nowhere Yoongi feels the urge to get outside, so he almost sprints out of the house. On his way out he almost bumped into Taehyung, who yelled out of surprise. He followed Yoongi outside the house and when Yoongi turned around he saw Jimin also coming outside. "What the hell was that sound? What happened? Something wrong?" Taehyung rose his shoulders but Yoongi just laughed. "Sorry, That's on me. I felt the urge to get outside, now that we're still able to."

They walked together through the forest, to the lake again. Jimin slowly walked into the lake, not caring about his clothes. "Might as well take advantage of the weather then." Taehyung agreed and Yoongi responded "As long as it lasts."

They were all satisfied after playing in the water, soaking wet they raced each other back to the house. Mostly to not have to fight over the shower. "I didn't think I wouldn't be last, Jimin." Jimin laughed at that. "I was in the water the longest, Yoongi-hyung. It feels like my body is close to being paralyzed from the cold." Taehyung wanted to step into the bathroom but turned around. "Wait really Jimin? That's not Good! You go first" Before Jimin could react he got pushed into the bathroom and Yoongi just gave him a reassuring nod to clarify it was alright.

***

Taehyung was back in JHR. Yoongi stood in front of the door, still not able to push through and just enter the room. "It's not your fault, remember that." Yoongi didn't turn around, cause he felt tears forming in his eyes. "You don't know what happened." He whispered. "I don't even know if I know what happened, maybe that's what went wrong." He got turned around and now fast someone's chest, Namjoon. "No, I don't know what happened. I only know that we can't change it and that we have to find a place in our mind to give it rest." Yoongi looked Namjoon in the eyes for a second, But since he couldn't hold back his tears he looked down at the ground again. He ran away, not looking where he was going. He bumped into someone, the person didn't fall. Instead he felt himself falling because his legs gave up. 'anxiety attack?' Now?! He closed his eyes, but he didn't fall to the ground. The person he ran into held him up. Carefully he opened his eyes again, Jimin. "Who Hyung, what happened?" A very clear worried voice asked, but it wasn't Jimin's. Yoongi tried to look at where the voice came from. "It's Taehyung." The person spoke... Taehyung and he looked at Jimin "Let's bring him to his room, he needs rest. From my perspective it looked like an anxiety attack, one that had been pushed down for quite a while now." Jimin nodded to Taehyung and let his worried eyes meet Yoongi's. Yoongi wasn't able to react, it looked like he spaced out.

When yoongi woke up, he was in his own room. "Good to have you back, Hyung" Yoongi looked up to see Jimin and Namjoon "I'm sorry, I think I poked into a sore spot." Yoongi shook his head at him "No hyung, It's on myself. I just never let anyone help me with it and I feel like I can still not give it peace. It just hurts so damn badly." Jimin moved forward to hug him, Namjoon just stood there. "Please trust us enough to lighten the anker on your heart, hyung. We, at least I, want to help you so so badly. So please let us." Yoongi looked apologetic at Jimin. "You know it's really hard. Maybe later on, but not now." Namjoon nodded. "We understand Yoongs, we just want you to know that we're here for you. All of us."

Taehyung walked in. "Sorry, did I interrupt on something?" They all shook their head. "Okay good, cause I wanted to say that tonight we're getting new news about the whole happening. I just hope it won't be lockdown, at least not yet." They all looked surprised "You actually started to follow the news again?" Taehyung nodded at Jimin's question and Yoongi spoke "I'm on Taehyung's side though, I really don't want a lockdown." Namjoon didn't respond. "Of course there is a chance of lockdown, but hoping can't do anything wrong." He finally said.

They went downstairs to eat. "Jin-hyung, how would you feel about a lockdown?" Jin didn't look surprised at the question. "To be honest Jimin-ssi, I don't really know. I think it will be hard, but we will pull each other through. I just hope that lockdown won't come anytime soon." They all agreed.

"Lockdown or not, only time can eventually tell" Namjoon quotes.