The Exile's Daughter

No Way Out

I bolted up with a rasping breath. The nightmare had been as real as the blankets which slid down to my lap. I could not calm my racing heart. Duilin's blank, staring eyes melting into his skull. A smell of rancid breath, the sound of cruel laughter. And black. No light could reach that place to which I returned so frequently now.

The door banged open and Legolas tore back the canvas, eyes wide. However, when he saw me, alone and safe, his squared shoulders slumped slightly. He knelt down next to me, speaking softly. "Man carina tyen?" (Q: What happened to you?)

"Olca olor", I answered breathlessly. Legolas sighed and sunk into a sitting position beside me. He had two bowls and two mugs balanced precariously in his hands, but he set them down carefully in front of us. (Q: bad dream)

"Á tulë sinomë". I shuffled closer and he pulled me into him, wrapping one arm around me and using his other hand to cup my cheek, guiding my head onto his strong shoulder. "Áva sorya", he breathed gently. His thumb rubbed restlessly on my cheekbone. Using Quenya, instead of his native Sindarin, calmed me and reminded me of home. (Q: Come here. Don't worry.)

"Legolas?"

"Hmm?"

"Im ring." (S: I'm cold)

Legolas sat back slightly and gazed down at me. "You're shaking." He reached across for his blanket, wrapping it tightly around my shoulders. I sunk into the warmth of it, only my head remaining visible. He smiled in spite of himself.

"Did anyone else hear?"

"I was just walking over with breakfast. No-one else noticed. Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head. Legolas pulled me tighter, humming a tune in his quiet, clear voice. "Are you okay now?" he said after a few minutes.

"Better", I decided, "thanks to you, as always."

"They're becoming more frequent by the day." He frowned. 

"Perhaps it is all catching up with me." I looped my arm under his shoulder and rested against him for a little while longer.

The wind blew the canvas covering the window. I shivered involuntarily and Legolas pulled me a little closer. "What are you keeping from us, meleth nin?" He sighed. "You do not seem yourself lately." (S: my love)

Truthfully, I didn't know. However, there was something I kept from him; something I kept from all but my own mind. The attempts of those men, on the night my family had been murdered, to...

I could not think of it, but I knew that one day soon, I must tell Legolas of their intentions. We were lovers, but it was not inconceivable that in the future we would be much more. He would not judge me, I thought, but what if I was wrong? What if he would be ashamed? I knew, though, that I would have to tell him someday. He deserved to know.

There was another thing too. I knew not what, but some foreboding was growing in my heart, distracting my every waking thought. Something was coming. Every time this thought occurred, I stood, finding some task or another to distract me. So it was on that day also.

I stretched out to grab our breakfast. "We must hurry. The night watch will be back soon."

He took the food with one hand, but he put his other hand on my cheek, rubbing his thumb along my pale skin and kissing my forehead softly. "Ness, you cannot avoid this forever."

"Avoid what?" I said innocently, my eyes widening in false ignorance.

Legolas rolled his eyes. "I don't know what, but there is something bothering you. All I will say is that I'm here if you need me, alright?"