Beyond His Green Eyes| ✓

Nirvana

Nirvana; a state of perfect peace, harmony, and happiness in the world; enlightenment.

C H A P T E R   S I X T Y - O N E

Still Noah's POV

"What?" I said, utterly baffled at his open declaration. I hadn't thought about this long enough to expect how this exact conversation was going to go. I had been very straightforward with him yet somehow he didn't strike me as someone who would be this obtrusive.

My jaw tightened as my gaze matched up to his. "You're the one who didn't want me to lie, right?" he answered, his scoff ridiculing me blatantly.

"How can you admit it so shamelessly?" I replied, least bothered about maintaining a filter.

"You're making it sound like you both are married and I'm trying to have an affair with her," he laughed mockingly at my face and I ran a hair through my moderately messy hair.

The feeling of jealousy that clouded my mind when I saw Sydney with someone else wasn't a choice, it was natural but I had never felt the slightest bit intimidated or threatened but this guy was turning out to be an exception. "It might as well be, the situation isn't very different," I reminded him.

The features on his softened a bit and his lips broke out in a smile. He placed his hand on my shoulder and I had a strong urge to throw it off me. "Noah, I only said I've feelings for her, I never said I was going to act on them," he said, shaking his head faintly as he laughed.

"So, you're telling me you have feelings for her but you're gonna keep quiet and not tell her?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm telling you," he responded nonchalantly.

"Bullshit," I whisper-shouted, calling him out.

He inhaled a deep breath and his eyes stayed glued to my face. "Feelings are a bitch, Noah. The more you try to chase them away, the more they try to find their way right back to you," he said, raising his eyebrows at me for a slight second and stifling a laugh.

I let him continue. "It was Syd who broke up with me, but I didn't wake up the next day and start hating her because of what she did. It's been two years but these feelings are so fucking adamant, they won't go away."

"Well, make them go away. I don't care how but do it because she's with me now. You lost your chance with her, you can't do anything now" I warned, still not believing him. I kept shaking my leg lightly as I grew more tensed.

Gavin looked amused at what I had said and I looked at him, maintaining my hard gaze. "It's been two years, don't you think if I wanted her to know, she would've by now? Noah, two years is more than enough time for me to let her know and you think I would wait for her to get into a relationship, where she's perfectly happy and then sabotage that just to let her know how I feel? I might seem like an asshole, but I wouldn't steep so low," he explained himself, relieving me of my fear. 

"So, you're gonna let her go so easily without even trying?" I asked, not fully knowing what my purpose behind asking him that question was.

"Love doesn't always guarantee you a happily-ever-after with the person you've fallen for. Sometimes, it's just watching the person you love being happy, even if it isn't with you," he shrugged his shoulders like it wasn't a big deal at all. 

"You don't love her enough to fight for her?" I questioned, realizing a second after how utterly offensive my words sounded. I bit the inside of my lip because I had no idea where this conversation was heading or why I was trying to convince him, in a way, to go for my girl.

"Would you rather have me take a shot? You fight for someone who loves you back and I know she doesn't reciprocate my feelings. Besides, me having feelings for her is my problem, I'm not about to let it become hers," he joked and laughed after to indicate the nature of his words.