Forbidden Kisses ✔ (Not Yet COMPLETE)

Frustration

I slammed the phone down for what seemed to be the hundredth time today. The child law in this country is so frustrating! Not only do I not have full custody of Jess, but I probably never will get full custody of her.

Jess was simply left in my care because I was willing to look after her, but the court will have the final say, and even with my mom's signature, my dad is refusing to sign now.

He has decided that he wants to raise her. I don't understand why, though. He did not even know that she was there. That's what mom said anyway. Apparently, dad was going through a rough time at work and would come home mostly drunk every single night, barely even knew my mom existed. So when the baby was born, it was easy to hide her from dad and me. And the older she got, the easier it was to keep her quiet. I still don't know how I didn't hear her. Or how my dad didn't find her.

Yes, dad was drunk a lot. Mom and dad constantly fought over how drunk he was getting, louder and louder every day. And I know I wasn't home often, if ever. I've been practically living at Sarah's house for over 3 years now. But how did I miss it? The pregnancy? The baby? How did my dad miss it?

No matter what I do, my mind keeps circling back to those questions. And I don't have an answer. Only now, the court is going to send me a date for the hearing and by a horrible twist of fate, my dad might be set free and get custody of his daughter.

The innocent little girl that still hasn't said a word was sitting in the lounge playing with my old barbies. Jess, my gift of God, her dark hair shining in the sunlight pouring through the windows.

"Oh no!" Sarah exclaimed when I gave her the news, "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know, honestly, I'm scared," I murmured softly, my fingers tracing cigarette burns on my arm, "You know my experience with my parents, the parts I've told you anyway. I'm lucky to have survived, I'm lucky that I had you."

"Can't you go into court and testify to the..."

"I'm not sure they'll listen," my body shuddered as I fought back the memories that I worked so hard to suppress.

"But, you have marks, Natasha, " she insisted, "You have reports of broken bones, you have proof. Your body is filled with proof."

Bile came up my throat with her last words and I ran to the bathroom, throwing up violently, memories seem to be smashing into my body. It all came back to me. The pain. The blood. My mother telling me to go to Sarah's house more often as she cleaned the cuts on my feet from where the shattered coffee cup hit me. The dark lonely nights where I stayed up all night, worried about my door opening. I threw up again.

"Nats?" Sarah knocked on the door, reluctance clear in her voice, "You okay?"

"I will be, " I answered, rinsing my face in the sink, "I've made a decision."

"You're going to tell them?"

"Yes, but I'm not waiting for him to be released before I do, " I took a deep breath as I tied my hair up in a bun. A silent symbol of a warrior, to give me the strength to do what I need to do. "Please stay with Jess, I'm going to the police station."

Sarah didn't say a word, but her eyes just followed me around as I called a taxi, hugged and held Jess and left. She probably thinks I've gone crazy. Maybe I have. Maybe this isn't courage, but craziness coursing through me. I don't know, but I know that I have to do this.