I miss her.

1

        As you grow up you will notice how everything changes all the time. And this sucks. When you get older life becomes harder, school becomes more difficult, and overall, being born seems unfortunate. Or that's the ways it has always been for me. Uh, hi. I'm Alex. Life sucks.

        I'm 15 and in my sophomore year of high school. Yay me. It's the beginning of December so the world is cold right now. I'm on my freezing bus going home. I miss summer. Last summer I took my best friend to Disney World with me, like how cool is that? But it has kind of gone down hill.

        Her name was Jillian, I always called her Jilly. She was pretty much my best friend. When we returned from our great vacation to the warm state of Florida our houses in upstate New York seemed lame by comparison. Jilly was never really happy with her life, her dad left when she was eight, her mom works too much, and her brother was in rehab from a drug addiction. So it seemed to kind of make sense what she did, but it still hurt. Yeah, on August 28th Jillian Ford killed herself. She OD'd at 1am that night. When I heard I didn't leave my room until school started on September 3rd. I still miss her.

        I am sitting next to my one friend, Jeremy, on the bus. He is napping as he usually does on the bus. He doesn't sleep at night because he over-studies and everything. Our stop is nearing so I wake him up by poking his side. He knows why I poked him and he gets his things together. My school is unfortunately small, only 75 kids in my grade. Upstate New York is cold farmland and cold woods. A large part of my community are hilly billies and red necks. The kind you could find hunting dear on a normal day basis.

        Jeremy and I hop off the bus and run to my house. I make us cocoa as he turns on my xbox to play some video games. He hangs out until his mom gets home at around six. Once he leaves I quickly do my homework and check FaceBook. Nothing interesting is really happening. I go look at Jillian's old page. There are only about ten messages not deleted on there. They are all support comments that just make me sad.

        I feel empty so I just turn on my music loud and I decide today is okay to cry. I lay on my bed and go looking through all of Jill's pictures. She was so pretty. I miss her. And with tears rolling down my cheeks and my laptop on my lap I feel the world getting dark. I drift off into sleep.