I miss her.

2

        When I awake it's still dark outside. I roll over in my queen sized bed and grab my phone off the charger dock and see it's 4:28 am. Way too early to be awake. I feel horribly sick and I don't know why. I see I have a message from Jeremy:

Hey, you've been on facebook for a long time. The pictures?

        How does he always know? He cares too much. I chose not to respond. I cannot fall back asleep so I just sit there thinking about my life and friends. Here is what went across my mind:

I have a mother named Jean. She overworks, is always stressed, and is a little crazy. My dad left when I was five, then came back with another wife when I was 8. He has custody of my sister, brother  and I on weekends. My dad's name is Greg and my stepmother is Erika. I have a twin brother named Luke, but he lives with my aunt because my mom kicked him out. I have a little sister named Jaime who is 9. She is Mom's prize child. She is a gymnastics star and a dance queen and a pageant baby and is very popular. I am the unwanted child at 15 and I have a dead friend. My best friend is Jeremy Kirthy. He lives next door. Karen Chen is my friend. She calls herself the Asian queen of our school as a joke. Lauren Peterson is my friend. She has very short hair and claims to be the only lesbian in my school. Donnie Ornol is my friend. He is 16 and will drive me anywhere if I ask, as long as he and my brother are dating. I have a cat. Her name is Olli.

        My mind was all over the place and I didn't know what to do. I went into my bathroom and washed my face in cold water. It only worsened the horrible feeling in my stomach and I wretched and puked sour bile into my sink. There was a cold sweat running down my back and neck when I finished. The clock in my bathroom read 5:16.

        I knew my mom wouldn't let me stay home today. She thinks someone will come to the house and hurt me while she was at work. If Jaime was sick, then my mom would just take her to work with her, but not me. I can't blame my mom though. Dad left, she kicked out Luke, and I am not always the best daughter. Her life has kind of fallen apart.

        I decided getting ready a little early one day wasn't going to hurt me. With my extra time I wanted to take a bath, but the disgusting look of my bath tub made me decide against it. After I took my shower and I was dressed I found Olli on my bed. She is such a sweet cat. I got her from Dad when I was 8, I've always thought she was some sort of apology from my dad saying "Hey I know I left, but lets just fix that pain with gifts." Olli meowed and jumped out of my arms. I started drying my mess of long dark hair. Once it was dried and brushed I did my make up.

        To me I look plain and simple: hair parted to the side, normal eyeliner and a little mascara, ripped jeans, and an old ACDC shirt of Aunt Beth's. I drank some juice for breakfast and went out to meet Jeremy to go to the bus stop. Jaime stopped me before I went out.

        "Can you help me with science after school today?" she pleaded.

        "Uh maybe once we get to Dad's I guess."

        "Today's Friday? I don't wanna go to Dad's." She pouted.

        "Why?"

        "I don't know..." She sulked off to get ready for her school.

        The bus ride was uneventful besides the fact that Jeremy was obsessed with another song. That's usual for him. When we arrived at school everyone seemed excited for some reason.

        I got to my locker in between Jeremy and my brother, Luke. Lockers are in alphabetical order by last name. Luke and I have the last name of Kirk so we are next to Jeremy. It's pretty nice. Karen and Lauren run up to us. Karen hugs us all.

        "Did you hear the news?" Lauren was wearing her sweatshirt that she has had since 6th grade.

        "What? Is this what everyone's talking about?" I asked. I wasn't interested but I felt I should probably know.

        "You didn't hear? There is a new kid. A girl. She will be here at like ten I heard." Luke explained in his curt and harsh sounding speak.

        "Oh. Wow." Jeremy nodded in agreement. It was rare for their to be a new kid at our school. Upstate New York is generally a freezing and unpopular area.

        "I hope she is cute" Lauren smirked.

        "And what is the chance she is queer? Very low." Karen and Lauren were always bickering like this. They were good friends but they fought a lot.

        Lauren opened her mouth but I pointed at the clock and we all silently went to our homerooms. Luke, Jeremy, and I going one way and Lauren and Karen the other way. Morning classes of science, English, and history went by like normal. Lunch was the first time I saw the fresh meat. She was tall and lanky with short blonde hair. Her skin was milk white. Her hairstyle reminded me of that World War II icon -- Rosie the Riveter I think? She looked strong and powerful but she had no real curves to her body.

        It was obvious to me that she had not yet made any friends. She stood on the edge of the small cafeteria and waited for everyone to sit. She must be looking for open spots. Our table is one of the only ones without full chairs.

        On one side of the table is Donnie, Luke, and I and the other side consists of Jeremy, Lauren, and Karen. There is only a seat next to me or a seat next to Jeremy. The new girl sees the open seats and walks slowly over. She stands at the end of the table and looks at us.

        It's awkward for a few seconds then she says in a soft and timid voice, "Uh, can I sit with you guys?"

        "Of course." I say trying to sound as polite as possible.

        During that 42 minute lunch period we learned her name is Rose Bartle. She used to be called Henry at her old school and prefers that to Rose or Rosie. She is 14. She came from Cleveland, Ohio. She lives with her aunt, uncle, and cousin Vinnie who is in 7th grade. She is in my math, PE, Spanish, and Art. Her favorite band is Flogging Molly and she likes to wear bright colors.

        My last four classes, all of which I had with Rose (I'm not comfortable with calling her Henry yet), went by normally. I was given the job of catching her up but she seemed to know all this stuff anyway.

        At the end of the day Dad picked up me and Luke. In the car we headed to pick up Jaime at the elementary school. As we drove little flakes of snow began to pass my window. It was supposed to storm all weekend. My town is in a little bit of a valley but my dad lives in the mountains. After Jaime was in the car we started the hour long drive to my dad's.

        I love to sleep in cars. It's a wonderful way to pass the time. Just as I start to fall asleep I feel my phone vibrate. It's Jeremy.

Hey can I come up and hang out at your dad's tomorrow. Sledding in the mountains is a lot more fun.

        I decide to ask my dad when we get there because I am exhausted. I slowly drift off into unconsciousness.