Ouch!

Chapter 2

No.
Please no. Not this. Not now. He knelt before his parents' grave, flowers tightly gripped, the thorns of the roses drawing blood from his palms. He put the flowers down, kissed the picture of his parents and left. Jake never meant for it to happen. He shouldn't have let his father drive in the dark. Not in the winter, not with spring tires. What was wrong with him? Just because he was to lazy to get behind the wheel. He blamed himself. He blamed himself for the pain, for the death. "Take me with you!" he would scream in his sleep. He woke up red hot, forehead sweating. Chills ran down his back. It was his fault.

He couldn't help it. He was in deep pain. He was an only child. He needed love. He needed the warm touch of his mother, the life advice from his father. His warm blanket covering him, not the wool blanket that sent static through his hair. He needed a family. But Jake wasn't the only one. The orphans who mourned beside him needed guardians too. Everyone in that place were expecting to one day be wanted once again. That day sadly never came. Many parents came in and found only teenage boys and quickly left. It was extremely hard to witness how people would give something up when they saw you in person. They wished for a young child. They didn't want a teenager who could never adjust to their homes, and later on wander off to find his real parents. In most cases, the boys' parents were dead. But some got delusional, they wanted to know the truth bad. The couples worried that they would never be good enough for boys. Every time they left. Meanwhile the boys formed a brotherhood. They planned to do out of the most incredible things the day they turn eighteen. The day they are freed from the long iron fences of the shelter. Some wanted to go to college, and study. Some said they'd take a huge loan from the bank and fly off to Fiji, where they could bathe in the sunlight. Huh. What a wonderful life that would be. But it was all a mirage. In the dessert of things, the boys start to imagine, to hope. Dream.
Jake knew he wouldn't get adopted soon. He was totally fine with a family that didn't carry his blood. He needed love. Life was tumbling down, and he thought that if he were to one day get adopted, his new parents would be able to help him walk up the hill that he once tumbled dwn. He was probably the weakest one in the shelter, the only one who had hope. But he was sixteen, and he knew there were only 2 more years when he reaches the marked time. But he was delusional and may have been the only thing that would've saved him from sticking a knife through his stomach.