Help Me Heal, An Andy BiersackxReader BVB Love Story

Chapter 6

A/N: Sorry to keep you guys in suspense for so long. I had to finish NaNoWriMo, and then I was on vacation for a week, then I got a vacation hangover yesterday and wasn’t feeling too good today. So I’ll see what I can come up with. And chapters should start coming regularly scheduled again. Thanks for all your support!

PS, I don’t like writing cuss words, so I’m going to add substitutes, like ‘freaking’ and ‘crap’ and all that.

oooOOOooo

Your eyes flutter open.

The entire room is almost pitch black. It must be nighttime.

When did you fall asleep? You don’t remember even closing your eyes. You sit up and stretch your arms out carefully so as to not hit anybody else, yawning softly. The darkness swims in front of your eyes as you make out four still lumps around you, with some snoring occurring from the long-haired drummer. Oh CC, him and his snoring problem.

Then you notice something big and tall is pacing back and forth in the room. You can only guess that this is Andy.

You’re about to say something but then you realize that the 6’4 man isn’t just pacing. He’s muttering under his breath, probably cursing, coming to a poster and ripping it off the wall in anger. Occasionally he kicks the wall.

He hasn’t noticed you yet. What you see next shocks you- he’s banging his head against the wall, whispering a little louder than the earlier mumblings: “I wanna die, I wanna die, I wanna die…”

Before you can stop yourself you let out a gasp, clapping your hand around your mouth. He whirls around to face you; you can barely make out the startled look on his face. “Who is that?” His deep voice wavers, softer than usual. He’s been crying.

“It’s (Y/N),” you respond gently. He sighs and sits down; you push yourself up and, carefully stepping over the sleeping band members, go over to him and sit down next to him.

“What do you want?” He spits out.

“Excuse me?” You raise an eyebrow. “No need to get angry, Andy.”

He sighs. “I’m sorry; I’m such a freaking idiot.” He draws up his knees and hides his face in them, making it even harder to hear his voice. “Just leave me alone.”

“Andy…” You start, putting your hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry. I don’t even know where to begin. But you’re not a freaking idiot.”

“You can begin by going away.”

“Please talk to me. Let me help you.”

“I don’t want your freaking help. Leave me the frick alone.”

“It wasn’t your fault. There was nothing you could do about it. I know it’s tough, but you can’t just blame yourself.”

He waits for a second. “It is my fault, though.” You see another tear run down his cheek as he looks up at you. “If we hadn’t been taken, if I hadn’t brought Juliet to the show-”

“It’s not your fault,” you repeat. He shakes your hand off, but you put it back.

“I hate myself. I hate myself so much, I want to die, I want to leave this earth and be with her.” He sniffles. “It’s all my fault that she’s dead, I just want to be with her, but I’m stuck in this darn cell with no way to get to her. I’m a piece of crap.”

“Andy, please.” You wrap your arms around his shoulders, trying to give him a slightly awkward side hug. “If you commit suicide you’ll leave behind so many people who love you.

You’ve saved so many lives, saved people through your music, through the band that YOU started. So many people love you- your bandmates love you, your fans love you, I love you.”

What did you just say?

You blush deeply, hoping he forgets that part. Honestly, you hate how things slip out of your mouth and roll off your tongue so easily. “And-and it would be a shame to have you leave,” you add dumbly, trying to cover it up.

But it’s too late. You see him smirk at you in the darkness. “You? Love me?”

There goes your dignity. You let out a sigh, hoping to change the subject. “Look Andy- if you ended your life you would affect a lot of kids. Some kids might get so upset that you died that they might decide to join you. And that would truly be sad.”

He nods slightly, but you can see the slight grin still on his face. He’s never going to let you hear the end of that.

“You’re right.”

What? You didn’t expect him to come out of it so easily, but you’re glad he agrees. Maybe from now on it’ll be better. “You’re totally right, (Y/N).” He sighs and uncurls from his ball. You let go of his neck. “I would disappoint so many kids…hurt so many people…but Juliet…she’s still…”

“I know. But there’s nothing you can do to change that. All you can do is accept it and move on. Maybe one day you’ll be with her. But right now, this time, is not the time for that.”

He angles himself towards you, releasing himself from the grip of the wall. “(Y/N)…Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome,” You reply, suddenly shy and looking down at the ground.

The conversation should’ve ended there. He should’ve said goodnight, or you should’ve said goodnight after that. But instead, he’s staring straight at you.

Oh, no.

It’s so quiet around the two of you; CC has even stopped snoring. And Andy’s gaze is getting more intense by the second. He’s burning his eyes into your soul.

You manage to look at him, and he reaches forward and puts a warm hand on your cheek. Oh no… You’ve always fantasized about this, but really? In real life? The likelihood of it happening was pretty much a million to-

Your thoughts are interrupted as he leans forward and softly kisses you on the lips- it’s short and sweet, gentle as if he’s afraid of harming you. And it’s quick. As he pulls away, your face goes the color of cherry Jell-O. You’re glad it’s as dark as it is.

“Well…better get some sleep,” you offer, unable to handle the awkwardness. He smirks at you. “See you.” You barely manage to stand up and make it back over to your corner, your head spinning; but you manage to lie yourself down.

You hear him let out a heavy sigh; he shuffles around a bit before settling down. Good. He’s going to get some sleep as well. You then try hard to push down the thoughts buzzing around in your head, attempting to sleep, but it can’t be helped. Andy Biersack just KISSED me! Are you serious right now?! I probably talked him out of his depression, at least a little bit, I actually helped him and he KISSED me! asdlfdslafjds;ljfds

Maybe it would be better from here on out. Maybe you would get out of this thing alive. And maybe you would get out of it alive with Andy Biersack.

oooOOOooo

A/N again: I’m going to be writing a few MCR fics after I finish my Time Flies series. I

don’t know when this is going to be finished. In the meantime, check out my profile- I have links to my dA and Fanfiction.net profiles! :3 Thanks for reading lovelies!