so basically, i cried today. it's been so long since i've been able to let out my feelings through tears. every day it would be me saying 'yes' to what my parents say without having any no other choice. everyday stuck in my room studying, doing assessment books.
i realised that im a person that lies to myself 24/7. i can be depressed and having a storm in my mind while smiling and laughing. i can't recognise my feelings sometimes, like i don't know when im happy or when im sad. and it makes me angry *inserts sad laughter*
every single day, same routine, same tasks. boring right? but that's my reality. good grades, good attitude (towards studying) and same old expectations.
tbh it was a relief that i could finally face the truth and reality, at the same time, my feelings. i feel i should do my self reflections more as it helps me reflect upon myself and feelings which is really important and tough for me. i will try to practice ot through these self reflections.
i have alot to write but my eyes are dry and im really tired so im gonna get some sleep now hehe.
i like how the weather earlier today match the state i am in rn but earlier in the day i was so happy and excited. anyways hopefully it'll be a better day tmr :)
sometimes i really really feel that no one was there to hold me before i fall. but its too late, im in the dark hole of darkness
