I fantasize about love because I'm not in love nor have I ever been.
And I'm scared that I won't ever fall in love.
I'm 19, I have all the time in the world but it doesn't feel like that to me.
It feels like one day I'm gonna be gone and as I reflect back on my life's choices while whatever God I believe in at the time chooses where to put me, I'll see that I've never been in love or felt what it's like.
To have someone care about me so much that it hurts to not be in the same room for even just a second.
I blame Wattpad.
And everyone whose writing beautiful love stories that make my heart hurt.
And I blame myself for falling in love with these fictional men that are so flawed and perfect that they seem real.
So real that I hold real men that I meet to these standards that are so unobtainable, at least in my eyes.
I have a question, does this feeling ever go away?
This irreplaceable, overwhelming feeling of loneliness.
Because even though I know I am loved, it still doesn't feel like it.
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts and Ramblings of Me
PoetrySooo this is more like a diary of sorts. Just a way to clear my head. You're welcome to read but it probably won't entertain you much.
