Missing Moments

3x03

She needed to breathe. The air in the club's bathroom was so thick, she was getting dizzy. She closed her eyes, trying to calm her racing heart. She had to put on a show for her Dad and Yeray, and she was sure her last encounter with Samuel, didn't help matters. Her father had definitely noticed them.

With one final deep breath, she braced herself to get out and face the rest of the night.

"The more you're cruel to me, the more I'm sure something is wrong."

She gasped, turning around at his voice, he was standing in the doorway, staring at her. "Really, Samuel? Take a hint."

He shut the door before leaning against it, "It's okay, Carla. I told you I understand."

"Understand what?"

"You." he sighed, looking down, "what you're doing."

"And what exactly am I doing?" she asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"You're being selfless." he looked up then, warm, nervous brown eyes melting her heart. "being the person I fell in love with."

He said it again. He wasn't supposed to say it again. She wanted to keep the firm belief that he was lying, using her feelings for him to get her to testify. She couldn't believe him. She blinked, her heart leaping in her chest, he was making it so hard. She wanted - needed- him to hate her, so she didn't have to keep pushing him away anymore.

She plastered on a smile, "Wow, you sure are dramatic. You want to fuck me again that badly, huh?"

"Stop!" his voice was hard, as he left his position on the door, advancing on her quickly, "I get it, okay? You don't want this. You don't want to be with me, or can't. I don't care. Just stop being so. . .please just stop."

The way his voice ended on a pained whisper almost broke her. She could see the hurt she was causing him, and it made her insides recoil. It was unfair. The way she fell for him, it was designed specifically to be her undoing. From the start they were doomed, and it was so naive of her to think that after everything that'd happened, she could have him.

"Okay," she muttered, before making a move towards the exit, but he immediately stepped in her path.

"Wait. . .I - "

"What?"

"I hate this." he breathed out, "I hate the way things are."

She hated it too, more than he probably knew. But she kept quiet, afraid that if she started talking, she'd never stop.

"Maybe, maybe we could try and be friends."

Silence. And then a humorless short laugh burst out of her, "That might be the funniest thing you've ever said to me, Samuel."

"I don't know what else to do. What do you suggest?"

"Nothing."

He let out a frustrated breath, running a hand through his hair, "I'm taking what I can get. If it's the only way to have you in my life, I'll take it. But I can't just pretend that we're not. . ." he trailed off.

She was instinctively moving closer to him as he spoke. She couldn't control her movements, his body was almost calling out to hers, her heart jumped as she closed the small distance between them. She slowly raised a hand to grasp his cheek, stroking softly, as she angled her face closer to his. Her other hand was resting over his heart, which was beating so familiarly fast, she could almost hear it.

"Your heart is pounding, Samuel," she whispered, her lips almost brushing his.

"So is yours."

"Yeah. Friends, then?" she asked tauntingly.