Abraham Lincoln: A Failed History class essay

Abraham Lincoln was a cool guy. He was born in America in the year 8154. He lived in a house built entirely out of lincoln logs. He was to poor to afford an xbox, so he just sat by the fire and read Harry Potter all day.

When he grew up, he became the sixteenth prezzy of the united states. He was good at this job, and did some cool things like wearing a top hat and freeing some people from slavery. But the coolest thing he did was, according to a movie coming out this year, was become a vampire slayer.

I bet that movie is gonna be a BIG hit at the box office, like The Avengers or Titanic. The Titanic was a comedy about some people who fell in love on a big boat, then everyone died. I laughed the whole time.

The Titanic thing happened during the roaring twenties, in which everyone was happy. Then, on January 1, 1930, everyone lost all their money and the greqt depression happened. To make matters worse, they had to also had to send out their children to die in World War 2. Then Hitler died and the economy was for some reason good again.

After World war 2, a bunch of people were happy, so they wrote happy music. Which we modern folk call old timey music. The Beatles are one of the most fqmous old timey bands, making songs such as "Yellow Submarine" and "Help". Then all of a sudden, heavy metal came and beat the beatles' happy tunes with a paddle and drowned them in a lake of anger and dark tones.

At the end of the metal period, classic rock revived the happy sounds of the Beatles and added metal influences to them. During the 90's, the grunge band Nirvana took all the happy classic rock songs, beat them with a lake, and drowned them in a paddle of of depression and anger. And yes, I meant to say they were drowned in a paddle.

A few hunred years before the rise and fall of Nirvana, A new budding country called America was forming. Living in this country was a guy named Abraham Lincoln. Then, all of a sudden, this essay ended. The end.