Upper Echelons

Boy Online

Being an introvert and the awkward one of the group can have it's pros and cons. The cons of being an introvert are you tend to be forgotten by your friends; just because you're not loud and outgoing all the time doesn't mean you can't be exciting in the right social situation and hold value as a friend. Another con is that people think you're vulnerable and take advantage because they know you find it difficult to say 'no'. If this was an essay I would have to weigh up the pros and cons evenly before summarising and coming to a conclusion on whether being an introvert is a good thing. Unfortunately, this isn't an essay and I can't think of any pros.

My parents called me Isla because 1) I'm Scottish 2) Isla is derived from Islay the southernmost island of the inner Hebrides of Scotland, where they are from and 3) It's known for its whisky. Alcohol problems seem to have followed me around since I was 10. I'm not talking problems with alcohol personally, I'm talking alcoholic step-dad problems. However, that's a topic of discussion for another day.

Boys had never been interested in me. It was like I was almost invisible when I was surrounded by the clique. If they did hit on me it would only be for popularity points, not because we actually had anything in common. All boys wanted were pretty girls from rich families, clever enough to have some future career prospects but stupid enough to be a fool in love. I wasn't one of those girls. I wasn't Charity. I mean, I love the girl to bits and she is my best friend but she was the stereotypical high school hottie that all Charter High boys liked. I could never carry the weight of being perfect all the time on my shoulders. Besides, I had two little sisters (Myah who was 15 and Piper who was 13) at home who were carbon copies of Charity.

I'm a dreamer and I guess you could say I'm the popular girl who got popular by mistake. I was a big gun and roses and Aerosmith girl. I would rather be at home in my black kiss hoodie, hair in a messy bun, eating pizza flavoured Cheetos whilst watching indie movies. I liked to write too and occasionally I would write on my blog anonymously. It was pretty basic just things like how my day was and new vinyl I was buying or small gig reviews. I enjoyed spending time alone I guess. I would hit up indie gigs at local bars occasionally, especially when I'd feel sad I would sneak out at night through my window, it was the escape I needed from home. My mum would got mental if she knew. I had a suspicion my step dad knew but he knew he couldn't tell my mum or as he knew I would spill his darkest secrets.

It was a Thursday night and I was bored. The family had gone out to Vapio's pizzeria for a celebratory meal for Myah's exam results and I stayed home as I pretended I wasn't feeling too good. I much preferred not attending family meals and gatherings as I hated watching everyone play happy families and everyone laughing and joking as if we weren't a broken family every other day of the year. Anyways, I had heard a lot of hype at school about this online chat site and I thought I might give it a go, I mean I had nothing better to do than to sit and home and listen to sweet child o' mine on repeat.

Three steps till we match you with an online user. This seemed simple enough. Step one, create a username. I needed something out there, mysterious yet cool enough to still get people to talk to me. 'Devil's got a new disguise' I thought. It's an Aerosmith song, one of my favourites actually. I had heard it at an Aerosmith impersonation gig and I remember the crowd rocking out to this to this day. That's the name I was going to use, mysterious yet sexy I thought. Step two, bio. 'Insert something pretentious about me here' I typed. Witty, that'll do. Step three, looking for?...what was I looking for? 'Someone who can be happily miserable with me', another witty joke I thought, we'll go with it. The computer started searching for local matches after I had included my personal description section about my height, weight and interests. *VRRRR* it was a notification from 'lone wolf'...

'You forgot to add the pretentious statement, if you hadn't noticed...'

I clicked on his bio pic. He had blonde hair and piercing green eyes and pale but clear skin. He was appealing to the eye. His bio read 'coffee, bad music and chill?' and he was looking for 'a presentable +1 for local gigs'. He had a sense of humour, I liked it.

'Hey, I'm Isla' I put with laughing faces.

'She replies!...haha...I'm Dan.. nice to meet you Isla. So what you up to?'

'Hey Dan, nice to meet you too.. not much just chilling listening to Aerosmith'

'A girl with good taste. That's where the devil's got a new disguise is from. I see lol. Sorry, I was only looking for girls with bad music to chill with.'

'Too bad, not all guys are cut out for rocking out with me' I put laughing to myself.

'if you need love with no condition, let's do the do, honey I'm on a mission...'

It was a lyric to Aerosmith devils got a new disguise. I was blushing. How lame right. I mean it's just a lyric. He seemed nice though, nice enough that we stayed up chatting till 2am that night. I can't remember the last time I had such an invigorating conversation with a guy. He was smart, he liked to read Steinbeck and his favourite book was 'East of Eden'. We even had a similar music taste, which was rare, as guys my age were pretty basic and listened to chart hits. There was something about him, an element of mystery. He didn't tend to give straight direct answers.  When I asked whereabouts he was from, he just asked me flirtatiously if I wanted to know so I could stalk him. I guess he had a sense of humour, so I didn't mind him not answering. I didn't know where our convos were headed and what the outcome of this online so-called 'friendship' would be. He seemed genuine but he was still an enigma to me. Little did I know, he could keep secrets just as well as I could, he was strange but I liked it. He said so much yet left so much unsaid. It reminded me of the ancient proverb 'silent men like still waters, are deep and dangerous' and I guess my life couldn't be more dangerous than it had already been. It was just harmless flirting. I mean, what could go possibly wrong?