Infectious

Cured?

It's worse than heartache, it's a pain that consumes my entire body. I can feel sadness in my arms and legs, in my muscles, all the way down to every living cell. No longer is it a state of mind but its now a state of living. I've cried so many times, I think my body stopped producing tears and simply went numb. Im drowning in my own sadness and the current of my pending depression threatens to pull me under. Sitting in the same spot for days is quite a therapeutic process actually, except for the fact that Griffith, Mia, and Arianne think I'm going insane. Mia even wrote down a list of grieving steps:

Step 1) denial (I think I skipped that phase, I know he effing died! He's not sitting in a coffee shop somewhere eating cheesecake!)

Step 2) loss of sleep, loss of weight due to not eating as much, and loss of speech.

Step 3) More speaking, more eating, less crying.

Step 4) Acceptance.

I think I'm slowly easing into step three, I ate an orange yesterday. They notice my awareness and Mia cautiously turns towards me.

"Look what we found yesterday!" she says excitedly, throwing a little purple bag at me. I unzip the bag and peek inside.

"Holy shit!" I exclaim. The first words I've said in three days . They both go wide eyes at hearing my voice.

"A tooth brush and effing toothpaste! But-but how?" I ask.

"We stopped at a gas station while you were sleeping and raided the place. We found that an thought how good it'd feel if we'd all clean our mouths," Arianne says with a chuckle. She tosses a bottle of water at me and I begin to brush my teeth. It has never felt this good to brush my teeth. Okay, I had a shower last week at the institution, but this! This is a luxury we rarely have. I spit out the excess toothpaste into a napkin and throw it out the window.

"Hungry?" Mia inquires. I robotically nod my head.

"Here!" Arianne tosses an energy bar at me, "you haven't eaten in a while so this will get you up to speed on your diet, well, at least a little bit," she explains. I devour the entire bar under twenty seconds. It tastes sweet like the the fudge squares my mother used to bake. I can't help but study her, the way her hair bunches up into small knots and it's beginning to get a little wavy. Dark circles line her eyes and my best friend suddenly looks broken, shattered into a million pieces beyond repair. Griffith gives Mia a look which she seems to understand as she grasps the wheel of the car and does a fancy switch seat with Him. He crawls to the back and settles down beside me. I draw up my legs and rest my chin on my knees, trying to take into account how my boyfriend is feeling.

"The sound of your voice isn't going to make me break," I tell him. He bites his bottom lip in frustration and puts an arm around me, reeling me in.

"No, I know, love," he says. He presses his tender lips against my frozen temple which gives me goosebumps.

"I just don't want you drifting away," he lets me know. I look up and nod at him with an effortless smile.

"We're gonna be there in a few minutes," Mia informs us. I sigh and gaze out the window at the many different landscapes. We pull up in front of nothing, literally. There are ashes scattered across a miss sewn parking lot and the remains of an old building. I hop out of the truck and look around. This can't be it, this can't be what we drove all day and night for.

"What the hell is this?" I ask them.

"Well, the map clearly states that..." Mia begins.

"Clearly states what?" Griffith growls. They glare at each other and I simply stay out of it.