Chaos in the Canvas √

39 | realization

تو ملا ہے تو یہ احساس ہوا ہے مجھ کو
یہ میری عمر محبت کے لیے تھوڑی ہے

Thursday – 5:56pm

The wedding was in two days.

Hemayal Khakwani's nerves were all over the place, the fluttering of the heart increasing as each hour went by. Excitement and fear had both found refuge in her heart – excitement because she was finally going to be with Ibrahim, and fear because she didn't know if the decision she'd made was right.

She loved Ibrahim, had loved him since she was a child, but will this love be enough to hold them together when another chaos hit? In regard to her trust issues and his short-temper tendencies, she heavily doubted it. Another storm and they would crumble; another test and they would fail.

"Having second thoughts, Hami?" Mehmal's smiling voice pulled Hemayal out of the reverie and she sighed before helplessly nodding her head.

Hemayal and her family had come to Abbottabad, their home town, for the wedding festivities. Coming back to the same city where everything went wrong, each one of her wound had sliced open. Memories, too many of them to bear, hit her right across the chest – all painful.

"I don't think we'll survive, Mehmal." Hemayal answered truthfully, voicing her fears.

"You will." Mehmal slapped her head gently before sitting beside her at the foot of the bed, eyes compassionate.

"How do you know that?" Hemayal asked, shaking her head in confusion.

"Because I've never seen anything like the way you love him." Mehmal responded and Hemayal almost wanted to cry out.

"That's the issue. I've always loved him, even when I was plotting against him. How can I love someone and plan against them at the same time?" Hemayal asked, at the verge of crying.

"But who was the one hurting the most during and after the planning?" Mehmal asked, such a sad smile on her face. "You." Mehmal said and Hemayal stopped short for a second. "When he was arrested, you were devastated. When he lost his job, you wanted to give up your own. And even when you plotted against him, I knew you were breaking inside."

"But I did it anyway, didn't I? Despite all the love I had for him, I never thought of giving up on the revenge." Hemayal said, eyes distantly staring ahead at herself through the mirror placed in front.

"For that, I'm proud of you. You did what you thought was right and loving someone is not enough reason to forgive someone." Mehmal said and Hemayal turned to her.

"It's not?" She asked.

"No, Hami, no. What he did was wrong, and he had to pay. If you had chosen to talk to him, forgive him because he was sorry and not because you were in love with him, I would have stood beside you." Mehmal answered and Hemayal wondered how in this earth did she always have the perfect answers.

"I don't get it." Hemayal said after a second, thinking Mehmal's words through.

"See, it's simple. You're worried if something like this happens again and you're not able to forgive him just because you're in love with him, that'd count as betrayal?" Mehmal asked and Hemayal nodded her head, confused and hurt.

"Yeah." She replied, voice small.

"It's absolute bullshit, Hami. Love him because he deserves to be loved, not because the world expects you to, and forgive him if he deserves to be forgiven, not because love expects you to." Mehmal went on and Hemayal nodded, understanding Mehmal's gently put words.