Only To Be Without, Book 1

Memories #2

(August 1983, Napoli, Campania, Italy)

It was hot again and Jimmy was irritated. That was one constant in sight, at least.

"If you could just run this by me again," Rocco said, with a palpable patience that made Jimmy grit his teeth. "Why are we standing here baking in the sun?"

"For the fortieth time," Jimmy snapped. "I'm waiting on a package."

"You've said that, not forty times, yet you have still not explained what you mean by a package. What is it that we are waiting for?" Rossi asked slowly and Jimmy's lips thinned out in a line.

"She, not it."

His cousin took a breath, mouth half open and hands half ready to gesture for a stop.

"Tell me you picked up a stray cat, James."

"She really doesn't like cats," Jimmy said with a grin.

"A dog, then."

"I'm insulted."

Rocc was the one gritting his teeth this time.

"Jesus Christ, Giacomo, tell me you're not bringing home a broad."

"I met somebody. She's not just any broad, Rocco, she's special."

"Ilyena was special, too," Rossi ground out. "And look what happened to her. She's not gonna dance anymore, is she? Not after your brother in law smashed her kneecaps. And you're gonna do that shit again?"

Jimmy held up a finger.

"No, I've figured out where I made my mistake. She was too close to home. I never shoulda got her a place in Jersey, what I need to do is keep her in Brooklyn, that way she's near work."

His cousin's hands went to his black hair: even in his early thirties it flopped boyishly into his eyes and Jimmy envied that about him. Jimmy had started losing his hair at eighteen, but that was just the way shit fell sometimes, wasn't it?

"No, Jimmy, what you need to do is concentrate on your wife, your three kids, you've got twin baby boys at home."

Jimmy scoffed.

"That's what Carla has the Nanny for. She doesn't need my help. Besides, you act like I wanted to get married in the first place. I mean, Jesus, I had just graduated high school."

"Yes," Rocco said slowly again, like he was talking to an idiot. "Because yet again you couldn't keep it in your pants."

"Now you're just being an asshole," Jimmy groused. "I didn't know who she was."

"You should've known who she was. Look at the street you met her on! You know who owns those beach houses! You didn't think she was just some summer girl, you picked her because she was verboten, James, and you almost got your ass shot off for it."

Jimmy laughed, flashing him a sideways grin.

"I almost got away with it. If her Daddy hadn't come home thirty minutes early I woulda been home free with a cherry in my back pocket, if you know what I mean."

Rossi groaned, squeezing his eyes shut.

"I might as well be talking to a wall. You have really got to work on your impulse control, Giacomo."

It was Jimmy's turn to groan.

"Dio caro, you sound like my mother."

"Your mother is best friends with my mother, and if your mother is anything like my mother, then she makes a lot of good points and if she's talking, you need to listen."