Iris

22. Right Where I'm Supposed To Be

Chloe's water had broken naturally just before they inserted the epidural, so now she could really feel the numbing effects of the drugs, but they also came with a few side effects.

She would start speaking absolute nonsense. Something about room, then cases, something about the baby, and then she told Lucifer that she thought he was handsome, which he didn't mind; looped-up Chloe could stay on that topic as long as she liked. 

It was just after four o'clock in the morning, and Chloe was nearly fully dilated, everyone was waiting anxiously for the delivery. Lucifer knew they had friends out in the waiting room to support them, and nurses were checking on them even more frequently now. 

When one of them said to Chloe, "It's almost time to push, Chloe. You ready?" a drug-addled Chloe wiggled her finger to Lucifer (who was standing right next to her bed), beckoning him to come closer. 

He leaned his tall frame down closer to her so that she could tell him what she needed and he could hear over the chaos in the room and beeping machines. 

"Detective, what's wrong?" Lucifer asked with a bit of humor in his tone. He obviously knew what was hurting her, but he had hoped that the drugs were going to make her do something funny again. 

Chloe's face scrunched with pain and she winced as she replied, "I need you to promise me something,"

Any lightheartedness he had hardened, and his face fell as walls went up. She knew that he was a man (or devil) of his word, and even drugged, Chloe wouldn't fool with him like this. 

Lucifer pressed his mouth into a firm line as he kept eye contact with Chloe's frantic blue orbs. She looked absolutely terrified for the first time in a very long time. Honestly, Lucifer didn't know if his strong detective had ever been this frightened. 

"Anything, darling," He found himself saying truthfully. 

Chloe gulped, "I need you to promise that you'll hold my hand if I get scared."

He smirked, acknowledging that even in her vulnerable state, Chloe might still be a little too proud to flat-out ask for help. He slid his digits into hers, careful to avoid any needles. As soon as their hands were settled, Chloe squeezed, which soon turned into a grip, and Lucifer thought she might break a metacarpal soon. 

He grunted, but if she was getting ripped in half, she could demolish his hand. He'd heal. Eventually. Bloody hell, this hurts!

"Okay," He strained. He cleared his throat of any evidence of pain and then asked sincerely, "Darling, what are you so scared of?"

A tear slid down Chloe's cheek. She glanced at the nurses gathering sterile supplies and checking her dilation, while a young doctor washed her hands and snapped on gloves. 

"I'm scared..." She took a breath and then stared right back into his eyes with an honest challenge. "I'm scared that if I let your hand go you'll disappear."

Lucifer felt as if somebody speared him from behind. How could she think that he'd abandon her like this? They were partners after all! They've faced life and death, demons and angels before! Surely, they could handle birthing a spawn of their own? Why did it suddenly feel so hot in here? Had somebody sucked all of the oxygen out of the room? Lucifer began sweating, the hand trapped in Chloe's dripping with each of their perspiration, and his lungs expanded wider than normal, hoping to be able to suck in more air. 

"All right Chloe," The doctor interrupted. "You are officially ten centimeters dilated. We're going to need to start pushing on the next contraction, okay?"

Chloe nodded and answered with a small, "Okay."

Lucifer wracked his brain, wondering why the detective would request this of him. Didn't she know how much he loves her?