We can't

17

After Jackson took his time to cool down and revaluate his thoughts he began trying to contact her desperately.
Message after message.
Phone call after phone call going missed as he sighed out of frustration. He hated himself for walking away from her, he proved her words true when his heart was always in the right place. He stood up pacing back and forth trying to comprehend what to do. How to get through to her? How to get her back in his arms where she belonged. He looked at his phone. March 28th staring back at him. It was his birthday. Another one he would have to spend without her love. The boys suddenly barged into his room, halting as they saw the look in his eyes. They looked at one another waiting before drawing him into a group hug. "Happy birthday Jack." He gave them a bittersweet smile. "Thanks guys." He said solemnly. He looked down to his phone waiting to see if he would at least get a message from her to wish him, his mood deflating as his phone blared with messages none from her though. The boys left Jackson to his deteriorating mood phoning up the girls to put the plan in action.

Irene hadn't moved from her bed. She hadn't eaten for days. She hadn't come out from the comfort of her duvet choosing to seek solace in her own self rather than him. Her phone had been switched off and thrown into a cabinet. The girls majority of the time stayed out of her way. Knowing that they needed to let her heal. But the pain was unbearable. She had gone through multiple stages of feeling numb to hating him to hating herself. And she stuck with the final one. She had always been insecure. Her heart broken one to many times in the hands of others and now it broke in her own hands. She didn't hate him. She didn't blame him. She understood his heart better now but her mind still seemed to be conspiring against her happiness. Telling her that he lied to her and that he could do it again. Her rib cage was empty without its heart, no one to counter argue against her mind. But wasn't that the whole basis of love? Everyone was going to hurt you, but you have to decide who is worth suffering that pain for. And he was. She would gladly take poison after poison if it meant she could stay with him for longer. Even if he was the one feeding the poison she would gladly accept it from him because without his love all she felt was a dull ache in her chest and she needed the medicine that only he could administrate to her. Her hand went into the draw fishing out her phone and switching it on. Message after message rolling through...her gut clutching with every voice mail, every message until she locked her screen, her eyes flashing to the date. It was his birthday, another one she would miss because of her pride and mind. She pushed the covers off standing finally her legs wobbly as she took support of the wall. Her eyes were puffy and red as was her nose. She tied up her hair walking out of her room the girls turning to watch as she moved silently, no words spoken, the evidence written all over her face. She remained turned missing the silent exchange between the other four girls as joy stood up. "We are going out tonight." She said clapping her hands to grab Irene's lingering attention. "Oh have fun." She said. Suelgi face palmed. "Your coming with us." She said. Irene knew she would not win the battle against them and so didn't bother, restricting herself to a nod as she flopped down into her chair, the girls sharing looks of concern at her passivity. "Gosh Irene you need a shower." Said joy sniffing her. "Did I ask you to sniff me? No I didn't." She said standing, leaving her untouched breakfast, losing her appetite the moment she brought the food to her mouth. She began walking away. "Irene..." called Wendy calmly as she walked back into her confinement. They shared looks of worry. "We need to get them back together. I can't watch her like this. She's taken it harder than anticipated." Said Yeri. "She's in love with him Yeri. She has been for years and the moment she finally let herself feel it, when she finally accepted it life decided to rip it out of grip like it was never hers in the first place." Said Wendy as Seulgi flopped down next to them. "She's always been scared to love. She's always ran from it but she needs his love in the same way he needs hers. The thing with Irene is she's never vocal about feelings. It's hit her harder because for once she's not running away from it and feeling it head on." She said Wendy nodding in agreement. They looked at the clock. "What time does his party start?" Joy asked. "Five." Replied Yeri as the girls moved around clearing things up. An hour later Wendy knocked on Irene's door, sitting next to the huddle that was back under the covers. She sighed wrapping her arms around Irene who poked her face out of the covers. "Talk to me irene." She said watching the tears return to the older girls eyes. "You know irene... I saw it in his eyes years ago, and it's the same look I see till this day. He loves you. He loves you a lot and it's painfully obvious to everyone but you. I saw the way his eyes searched for yours for years, the way they would follow your figure, the way they would soften when you would walk past. We all saw it. He's been in love with you for so long irene. He would never try and sabotage that. All he's wanted to do since he's entered your life is teach you to love yourself, all he's wanted is to see that cold look disappear. All he's wanted to do  is to reignite the fire in your heart that was quenched by the people who didn't deserve it in the first place. That night you said you didn't believe what he said. Why did you lie? Why Irene...why lie when you saw it in his eyes, his words and his actions? You know I don't support the whole Youngji thing, she's in the wrong but being in love is about taking risks, it's about trusting the other one to not break your heart and he's been trying so hard to keep it beating. So why would you openly self sabotage your love?" She questioned watching Irene turn away. She couldn't answer Wendy's questions. "It's because your scared..." her voice carried through. "You can't be scared Irene...I know that your heart has suffered I'm aware and he knows that too. He would never consciously hurt you, hell he wouldn't do it subconsciously, he loves you too much to watch your eyes fill with tears and it would kill him if he was the reason for those tears. He was breaking that night watching you, thinking that he was responsible for that. Love isn't something you are supposed to fear. Jackson has spent a lot of time trying to chase away your fears and insecurities but you need to meet him half way." She whispered. Irene sat listening and absorbing every word. "Your an amazing leader Irene, none of us doubt your capability. We would follow you blindly because we trust you and we know your heart and that's why I'm saying what I'm saying. You deserve to be loved. Don't run away from it out of fear. We often want things so bad that we ruin it by overthinking, doubting, worrying and expecting. Just let it evolve naturally. You both deserve a win." She said. Leaving Irene alone. She sat up in her bed, the tears finally halting.