Call me... Carson

Call me... Carson- Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I messed up bad. I thought it would be a good idea to come out to my parents. Fuck I'm stupid... This is why no one cares about me, I make idiotic decisions like this. Luckily, they let me pack up all of my stuff before throwing me out. They didn't want any reminders of me so, they kicked me to the curb as if I meant nothing to them. Despite my best efforts, they wouldn't accept me for me and only cared about the fact that I was different. So what if I was different? They left me to fend for myself because I was born differently. I stood outside running my fingers through my short, yet classy hair. Heh at least I know I have good style. 

I remember during the Christmas season nights, my mom would make me sit by the cozy and warm fireplace while she brushed and braided my long hair. I would drink hot chocolate as she told me I was the prettiest girl she's ever seen... And I would cringe every single time she said it, even when I was young. It felt like a knife going through my heart. After she finished with my hair she would force me into a big and glittery dress, and always had me in jet black slip on's that clacked onto the tile floor when I made a step. The mistletoe colors shined throughout the house, and she would hum jolly tunes. As she would set out cookies, she'd twirl my braid and it dangled past my back... She was so distraught when I chopped it all off. She saw all the signs and yet, she still lived as if everything was perfect. 

I don't really have any friends. I was always considered the freak and the loser. I suppose I really am a freak and I'm especially a loser. I've had friends before, but no one that I really connected with and I wish I did honestly. I remember the first heartbreak of my life, Lilian and her brother Joseph. She had curly brown hair and big brown eyes. Her skin was deep brown and glowed like an angel. She was petite and had sharp collarbones. Her hair was almost always tied back in two braids unless she went to church. Her cheeks were roses and her lips shined with her strawberry lip gloss. She's my best friend. She was my best friend. But her brother...He was hot. He was dangerous to my heart. He had dark brown, curly hair like his sister, but his eyes. Oh my god, his eyes. He had deep honey amber eyes and freckles that hid until the sunlight shines directly on his cheeks. He told me he could never love an ugly beast like me. Great so even as a girl I was ugly. And after I told him my feelings Lilian said she couldn't be friends with a slut. After that day I had come so close to suicide until my dad saw me nearly hanging my self, laughed, then grabbed me by the color of my shirt and threw me into the closet saying that's where I belong and I should stay there, so I don't embarrass him or the rest of my family.

I don't have any close relatives. Did I try to have a close relationship with relatives? Of course, but I was always shunned from events even when I was young. When people made fun of me, it was the worst. It's like they could tell who I was before I could even think of it.

I really have nowhere else to go. Not to mention that it's the middle of winter in Colorado. I started walking away from what was my house. I'm freezing. I feel the icy wind snap against my skin, and I see my body turning red as could be. I tried to keep moving my legs brushing against each other and stung my entire soul. It's probably below freezing temperatures right now. I stop over by the local supermarket and thankfully I have enough cash to last me at least some food and a few packages of individual plastic water bottles. 

After receiving the fakest smiles at the store, I head over to our local park that's covered in a layer of glistening, white, snow. It'd almost be beautiful if I wasn't in a t-shirt and shorts. Almost. I grab my only jacket, although it's paper-thin it'll do for now, out of my bag and put it over my shaking legs, and pull my quivering arms into my shirt. I think I got so cold I fell asleep on the bench.

...

"Hello, 911. What's your emergency?" The operator says in the fake calm voice they're required to have.