Pesy One-shots

Secret Love Song

Perrie's not sure whose idea it was but somehow it gets decided that during Secret Love Song, she and Jesy will hold hands. It confuses her. They weren't together. Or into girls. But between Jade and some of the dancers, she's eventually convinced that it's a powerful statement of acceptance.

But when the time comes she feels like a fraud. She and Jesy weren't a couple. They weren't gay or bi or pan. They were plain old straight. Yet they were on top of a rising stage holding hands during their lgbt+ anthem. The second night in Milan is right after Jesy's cried and of course she wants to hold Jesy's hand. She wants to support her. It sucks to breakdown on stage. It feels totally fine that night because it wasn't a statement, it was her comforting her best friend.

It keeps feeling okay for the next week because Jesy gets upset every time. It breaks her heart but she knows most of the time she's just overwhelmed by the fan projects. But then Jesy stops crying, she stops skipping her solo and the hand holding is back to being a choreographed move. Jesy's confident with it and that relaxes her a bit.

And then it starts to feel different. She can't explain it really, the whole thing just feels more charged. If she didn't know better she'd say it felt like sexual tension. But she does know better, or at least she thought she did until it followed them off stage. She was hyper aware of where Jesy was at all times, her moods, every time they touched. It was ridiculous. The worst part though was that she couldn't tell if Jesy felt it too. Normally she'd just ask but they barely get any time together and any free time they do get, Jesy calls Chris.

It starts to eat at her. She's never kept something like this from Jesy or the girls in general. But she knows it has to be Jesy. She can't talk to Jade or Leigh yet, not until she knows if it's all in her head. Desperate, she pulls Jesy backstage 10 mins before they're about to go on.

"I need to talk to you."

Jesy looks at her concerned and a little exasperated. "Now?"

"No-" Perrie glances over her shoulder to see the dancers herding Leigh and Jade onto the platform. "Later, after the show. Just you and me."

Jesy grabs her hand and asks, "Are you okay?"

Perrie nods. "But I need to talk to you."

"Jesy! Perrie! Let's go." Claud shouts.

Jesy nods. "Stop by my room tonight?" She doesn't wait for Perrie to respond, just leads her over to the platform. Jade gives them a funny look but doesn't say anything.

Being on stage wipes away most problems. It's just so exhilarating that only the worst breaks through so Perrie doesn't think about it until Secret Love Song and even then she's able to keep it pushed down because she knows she'll get her chance soon. It won't be this weight pressing down on her anymore.

Perrie changes out of her costume and washes her face in record time but Jesy seems to take forever. She's laughing with the dancers, only half changed, wig still firmly on. She lingers hoping her presence will cause Jesy to remember their conversation but it's another half hour before Jesy is ready to go to the hotel. Perrie could say it was luck that they weren't on the bus tonight but the truth is she planned it. A hotel room gives way more privacy.

She wants to cuddle up next to Jesy on the ride there cause she's tired and it's what she normally does but it probably wasn't the best idea considering the talk they were going to have so she restrains herself.

She thinks Jesy thought she'd go to her room first if the surprised look on her face as she trailed her down the hall was any indication but Jesy lets her in anyway.

Jesy rolls her suitcase against the wall and turns to look at her. "Babe, are you okay?"

Perrie nods jerkily. Now that she's here this is way scarier than she imagined it. Jesy gives her a doubtful look but takes her suitcase from her and sets it next to her own.