What's Left of It

Chapter One - New Beginning

Chapter One

I went home that night almost dragging my feet out of the office until I reached home. Finally, Friday! I want to scream my lungs out for the two days off work, finally!

I wish I could have someone to cuddle with though when I get home. Maybe I’ll buy a dog. Nope, you’ll end up killing him of starvation. Right.

I ordered Chinese that night. I must have fallen asleep in my couch while watching reruns of Grey’s Anatomy because I woke up with a stiff neck and a dumpling on my cheek. Ew, I was really exhausted.

I also woke up that day feeling like I need some major changes in my life, pronto, if that is possible. This is either good or it's going to end up in a disaster. 

Not only that my best friend is coming today and I don’t want to feel so small beside her. She’s a successful fashion editor after all. Not that I’m not successful, I’m doing fine for myself. It’s just that I think that I haven’t landed on my “dream job” yet. The fact that I hate going to work because I don’t like my job makes me feel useless.

I started pulling off some workout clothes at the bottom of my drawer and headed out to the park to clear my head. Wow, clear my head. I used to do this the first time I got in New York.

It refreshes my mind and helps me get off what’s bothering me for a while. I don’t know why I stopped doing it though. Must be the laziness of me deep inside; or maybe it was because I used to have a goal in my life. What was it again?

I started with warming up my muscles, obviously. I haven’t really been able to have a single exercise in weeks. I hope this will be a good start. One thing in my mind while starting to jog around the park: this will be a new beginning; I will begin to change my life from now on.

I was surprised that I was able to finish one whole jog around the park and I was even more surprised when I wanted to do more. It was nice seeing people again. Not that I don't see people in my work, it's just that I love seeing random people. The spontaneity of life just amazed me.

I used to think being spontaneous was impulsive and not logical. I had a clear goal in mind and it ended as soon as I stopped looking at myself and poured my life into that stupid relationship. I wasted my life in those years. If only I had known. Little did I know I stopped having goals in mind and started being too much impulsive all together.

I ended up having 3 laps in total, then grabbing a hotdog on my way home. Wow, healthy. I stopped by the market to get some vegetables and meat on my fridge. I also stopped by the nearby coffee shop to buy my daily dose of caffeine.

It's nice walking around this part of the city - how everyone seems to have an agenda in mind, forgetting to enjoy life. I was that person 5 years ago. I smiled as I looked at a woman with shopping bags on both arms while talking to someone on her phone. She looks like she’s in a hurry. I hope she can manage to smile once in a while, she looked really pretty.

I started cleaning up my place with a smile in my face. Wow, that jog really did clear my head. I used to be grumpy. I threw off the things I would normally just keep in a box and hide somewhere in my apartment. It amazed me how I could easily discard them – I thought were “sentimental.”

Pieces of receipts from the restaurant I went into the first time I got here, the first paper bag I used when I bought my first designer dress from my first splurging and the first plastic spoon I used when I don’t have enough to buy me decent silverware.

Not that this doesn’t matter to me anymore, believe me, it still does. I just thought that I can’t keep hanging on with the past and at the same time telling myself to live my life to the fullest. I just thought that this was the key to finding that new start I was dying to meet. Hopefully, it will be.