JUST YOU

UNDER THE RADAR

I have to find a way to make this work for us and to keep Love out of it. I won't kill her, that's not who I am anymore and what would Abbey think of me if she grew up and found out that her dad killed her mom? No, I'll just find a way to see you more often. I just need to do so while avoiding suspicion...fly 'under the radar' so to speak...but how? Love is just as perceptive as I am. She's just as smart, just as willing to do anything it takes and she is just as dangerous...

Art. That's it!

You're an artist, I'm a bookstore manager. You can create a portfolio of your best work and I can send it to Mooneys and get it sold. Ethan and Blythe run the store together now so I'll send it to them by post and write a letter explaining why this brilliant young artists portfolio just needs to be seen by more people. They trust me so it should be easy. We can discuss all this over frequent meetings and coffee and, to Love, it'll just look like business but we'll know better. It'll be our secret, won't it Charlotte? Yes, this could work. I haven't had an idea this great since I decided to take up management of Mooneys and that idea was a fucking steal!

It might be a good time to mention that I'm thinking about all of this as I'm sitting on the sofa watching a Disney movie with Abbey before her bedtime. Today it's Cinderella and my god these Disney movies are so stupid...they paint the Prince up to be this charming, charismatic, great guy but he can't even recognise the woman he 'loves' by her face? You'd think that the face would be the best way to identify someone but no he has to make things harder for everyone by getting all the women in the land to try on one glass slipper. That's just so stupid. That's not what love is...I know what real love is. I have it with you, Charlotte and we can make this work between us. We will, I promise.

Then, just like that, the movie ends and Abbey yawns and stretches as I pick her up.

"Alright Cinderella, time for bed now." I say as I carry you upstairs.

"Daddy, did you know that's not how the original story ended?" I look at her and smile...

"Yeah, yeah I did. How did you figure that out?"

"Mommy told me." Abbey says and I sigh as I tuck her in. Of course Love told her.

"Did she tell you what really happens?"

Abbey nods as I ask her...

"Do you prefer the original?"

She nods again and I sit on the edge of her bed and think for a while...

"Wait here, daddy will be back in a second."

I trudge wearily back downstairs and lazily search the bookshelves. We sort them alphabetically by author and by genre so I look around...Fantasy, A-G and find exactly what I'm looking for. Brothers Grimm classics. I creep back upstairs, so as to not disturb Love, and put the collection of books on Abbeys bedside table and sit back down on the bed.

"These are all the classic fairy tales that Disney made movies about. If you like Cinderella you're going to like the others. Let me know if you want to read any fairy tales by other authors."

Abbey looks at the cover and then back at me...

"Brothers Grimm? They sound mean."

I have a slight panic attack and try to change her mind...

"What? No, they were really popular. Disney just romanticised their work that's all."

She looks back at the book and scrambles out of bed to give me a hug...

"I was joking silly, I love it!"

I smile as she immediately starts reading the book, she loves it. I'm a great dad.

"Don't stay up reading too late, okay? Get to bed by 9:00, you have school tomorrow."

She looks at me and smiles as if to say 'okay' and I close the door to her room and join Love to go to bed but she's sitting bolt upright in a panic. I rush along to the bed and gather her up as she breaks.

"Joe...it's Forty. I keep having dreams about him. Just as you keep dreaming about Beck."

I don't blame her for being traumatised. Even if she's a psycho, there's no denying that she loved Forty.

"I failed him, I failed him and I keep thinking that if I told him about us sooner and not kept so much of it a secret then he would still be alive today. He'd be an uncle, he would've loved that. Probably...maybe."

I nod my head and I say I'm sorry. I mean it. I really am sorry.

"Love, look at me. It was not your fault. Forty was out of control, remember? He would've shot me. I'm not saying he deserved to die because nobody deserves that..."

Some people definitely deserve that...

"But he would've killed me and Abbey wouldn't have a father. Think of how that would've affected her."

Love nods her head but she's still in tears as I lay her down and go to the bathroom to get her a glass of water. I renter the room and she takes the water as she dries her eyes.

"You know I only did what I did to protect him...she was a manipulative bitch who deserved to die."

Amen to that...thank you for teaching me that little life lesson Peach and Candace.

"Love, I understand...I would've done the same thing. You did what you had to do."

I would not have killed her and pinned the blame on someone else. That's insane.

"Just get some rest" I tell her "I'll take Abbey to school tomorrow, you just relax."

"Thank you Joe." Love kisses me and runs her hand down my chest. "I wolf you."

I smile and I kiss back.

"I wolf you too, Love."