Nobody Cares (VxBTS FF)

Chapter 9

I quickly put on an emotionless mask and walk over to the van. Looking inside, I see that the rest of the members are there too. Sighing in annoyance, I climb inside of the van and sit in the back row as always, but this time I had company. Jin hyung was sitting next to me.

I place my stuff on the ground and cross my arms over my chest. Unfortunately, I don't have my phone with me so I can't listen to music and ignore them. Now I have to sit in this damned van with them and have to listen to their shit.

The driver starts up the engine and pulls out of the hospital parking lot. Once we're on the road, Jungkook turns around to look at me from the row in front of me and gives me his signature bunny smile.

"Hey Taetae hyung, I missed you so much! How was it in there? Must've been boring." he asks, still smiling.

Can this dumbass shut the hell up. I obviously don't want to talk to him right now. He probably didn't even miss me or care about what it was like in the Psyche Ward. None of my members care about me. They're probably just faking being nice to me and once we're alone again they will treat me like shit.

So I just shrug my shoulders and look at him blankly. "Yeah, it was very boring." I say.

Ever since my suicide attempt, I've noticed that my voice has sounded different. It sounds deeper and holds zero emotion. Either it's because of how emotionally drained I am or it's because I damaged my vocal chords when I was drowning.

"Do you think it helped you at all?" Yoongi hyung asks. I'm surprised he even decided to talk to me.

Now is the time that I have to lie. If I say no, then I might be sent right back into the Ward. That's something that I don't want to happen.

"Yeah, it did. I learned a lot of coping skills." I say.

It's not a complete lie I mean, I did learn a lot of coping skills. The thing is, I most likely won't use them. I'll be too busy to even think about trying them. Once I get back into the swing of things, I most likely will never think of them again and I'll go back to cutting.

"I hope these skills are better than cutting." Namjoon says, glancing back at me. I give him a surprised look. "The doctor found all of them when you were admitted into the ER. Why didn't you tell us that you were hurting yourself?"

"Because I knew you wouldn't care..." I mumble under my breath. Luckily, nobody heard.

"What was that?" Namjoon asks.

Shrugging my shoulders, I look out the window and watch the scenery fly by the van. "I was just scared of what your reactions would be."

"Well, there will be no more cutting. We found all of your razors in your room." Jin hyung says.

I felt my heart sink, but then I remembered the razor that I had hidden in a hole in the wall that's behind a picture. I'm sure they didn't find that one. It's pretty well hidden.

"Look Taehyung, we truly are sorry about everything that we have said and done to you. We just, get really stressed out and we kind of took it out on you. I know that what we did was wrong and we all promise to never do those things again." Jimin pauses and takes in a deep breath. "What I'm trying to say is that, please forgive us and allow us to restart. We promise to treat you better."

Liars, I know them. Maybe they will be nice to me for a little while, but then they'll go back to their old way of treating me. I can't trust what they say.

"You treated me like shit for all these years, just because you were stressed? Have you ever fucking considered how I felt!? A suicide attempt is the only way you guys realized that you were doing wrong?" I yell at them.

"No, we all knew that what we were doing was wrong. We-" Hobi begins but I quickly cut him off.

"Then why didn't you stop?!"

"Because you were our only outlet! We thought you could handle it!" Hobi yelled.

"Only something that's not human would be able to handle your treatment. Maybe you guys should be the ones seeing a therapist, not me." I say and look out the window.

Not another word was spoken for the rest of the ride to the dorm.