Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"Too intoxicated to be scared,"
"I can't afford to love someone who isn't dying by mistake,"
— Billie Eilish
Two
THE CLOUDS CRIED AND HER CLOTHES helplessly became thinner by it's tears. Darkness stretched across all ends of the sky as she was now immensely absorbed in the music that she had forced into her ears — to smother her surroundings. Before her was a reckless and old brick building that she called school. But now it was her bedroom, as she had to sleep there every night with no possible end.
Her small footsteps filled the moist air of the hallway that had absolutely no other soul but hers. She checked every corner and every turn to look for the one classroom that she slept in. As the dorms were currently unavailable, dirty classrooms with yellow and flakey walls was the only option for anyone in the school. Plus, she was assigned to a new roommate who she assumes to be no better than a drunkard and a drug-addict.
People around her painted an ugly image of what the world was like. Even the teachers, and her own parents. But sadly, everyone successfully put on a show of being completely self-interested to even have a glint of care.
Scarcely had she reached and stepped onto the squeaking wooden floorboards when her nose inhaled a whiff of cigarette smoke. She held her breath to avoid breathing in the heavy stink but thrusted it out as soon as her lungs couldn't hold it. "My god," she commented as she looked at the boy who wrapped his two fingers around a cigarette. Smoke curled from the cigarette's end like a lollipop, then dispersed into the thick air like nothing.
Sometimes she wished that her parents had tried harder enough to get her into a better school with better people. But for anyone, that was impossible for her.
Now, drug-addicts and parties were the only things that she had ever come across. Look that way, she'd see a table full of ash-trays. Look the other way, she'd see people burning their throats out with gulps of Vodka. She knew that she was never going to be like them, especially the smokers.
However, the boy who sat on the floor with his legs stretched never cared about whatever anyone had thought of him. He didn't give a fuck. He only cared about himself and that was it.
But when he saw her face of disgust, although she was a stranger to him, he couldn't help but feel ashamed of everything that he had done to himself. He would take a step back and count the amount of times he abused his own body, but in the end, he couldn't stop.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
He could feel the stigma that traveled in and out of the classroom, and in pure honesty, it made him quite uncomfortable. He tried to drown it out with each inhale of smoke but he couldn't.
And for the first time, he threw away the burning paper earlier than he had wanted to.
Only to avoid judgement.
The acknowledgment of her presence seemed to affect him so much, and he didn't know why.
